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‘It was Simone who told me in the end. The media were about to break the story that Lukas, the Anzelotti patriarch, was terminal and there was going to be all-out war between my parents for the company majority. It was salacious and cruel. Simone came to the boarding school and smuggled me out, furious that I hadn’t been given any warning.’
‘Did you get to him?’
‘My parents met me. It was the one time I saw them united. They said the truth had been kept from me to protect me. They didn’t want me to be distracted from my schoolwork. They wanted me to do well in my exams.’ My fingers tighten on the railing. ‘This supposed concern from the people who’d been distracting me foryearswith their bitter fights.’
‘That must have been really—’
‘Shit? Yeah, it was. Because they’d done it at my grandfather’s insistence. He’d said he would change his will if they didn’t both toe the line on it.’ I glance at her and can’t get my voice above a whisper. ‘It washiscall.’
‘Did you get to spend time with him before he died?’
‘No.’
‘Dain, that’s... I’m so sorry.’ Her eyes are bright. ‘So when you found I’d kept Lukas from you—’
‘Yeah, low moment.’ I don’t want to go there again. We’re past it. I half regret saying anything at all.
‘And you were angry about my not having told Ava,’ she says.
‘I felt for her.’ I clench my gut. ‘I know what it’s like to be kept in the dark. It makes you feel...incompetent.’ Rejected.
‘No wonder you keep people at a distance.’
Her expression eases the ache in my chest but at the same time causes another to build. I ache to hold her. I ache for the balm of her soft body resting against mine. I’ve never needed physical comfort like this before. Sex is only fun. It’s only a moment—a great release—then I walk away. But this isn’t that. I freeze because I don’t understand it. I don’t welcome it. I don’twantthis change. I don’t want toneedanyone the way I need her right now. I grip the railing to stop myself moving to her. Only it hurts to resist the urge.
‘Dain...’
My throat aches. I can’t answer her. But I can’t send her away either. And I can’t take my gaze from her.
Her smile is sad. ‘You’re so guarded.’
Maybe. Yeah. I’ve never told anyone about my grandfather’s decision. It was far too painful to utter aloud. I probably shouldn’t have done it now. I make myself turn away and bow my head. I wait for her to leave. Expect her to.
There’s silence. But then I feel her hand slide onto mine.
‘I don’t blame you for that,’ she breathes. ‘It’s okay.’
On auto I release the railing and turn my hand to lace my fingers through hers. I lock them together. Us together. She wraps her other arm around me, her palm pressing flat just below my ribs, her stomach flush against my back. For a long time we stand linked like that. I’m silent, sandwiched between the railing and her, and it’s oddly, overwhelmingly safe.
Compassion.It’s an altogether different feeling from any I’ve felt with her. No less powerful. If anything, it’s...more. I can’t remember the last time someone just hugged me like this and the warmth and weight of her leaning against me is so soothing I don’t ever want to move.
‘Sometimes families just suck,’ she whispers.
I half laugh and that horrible tension, the agony, that’s been twisting me up all night finally eases. ‘Yeah.’
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Talia
IDON’TSLEEPWELL. Dain brings Lukas early in the morning for me to feed him, then takes him to change and dress. Now they’re engrossed in one of their endless nonsensical conversations. Dain’s chattier with his son than anyone and I can hardly bear to look at them. Lukas is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen while Dain’s the sexiest. My heart twists at the joy they’ve found in each other. I don’t want anything to come between them or to damage the relationship now building between them. Especially not me.
I leave the room and go to shower, still processing what I witnessed last night. It was a revelation. I don’t think I was any help—sometimes families suck—I wince at my tragic attempt at comfort. But it’s true, right? And wouldn’t it be good to pick your own? If I could choose, I’d keep both these guys so close.
But Dain doesn’t want that and after last night I really understand why. Dinner with his parents was worse than he prepared me for. He diverted conversation. Distracted. Deflected. He worked so hard I was exhausted just watching him. They were sad, selfish people who complained and contradicted each other from the moment they arrived. Over who got to hold Lukas first even—over everything. The constant point-scoring shocked me. Ultimately they just want things from Dain—money most especially. He’s never been valued for himself. No wonder he doesn’t trust anyone.
He was still charming to them, but I saw glimpses of a child desperate to please, to placate, to make everything better and bring peace to his world. I get it, I’m the same. I’m only capable and efficient because I had to be. But Ava loves me, and Romy supported me, and Dain himself has been wonderful to me. But he didn’t have that. No wonder his relationship with his family is fractured. No wonder he fiercely guards his privacy. No wonder he fights hard to retain control over everything in his life.
I realise now that he has walls that I can’t breach. And even though I know they’re awful people, their judgement of me was obvious. It doesn’t just hurt. It makes me nervous. I know he and I have some things in common—lust for each other especially—but not enough of therightthings.
