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Ithen spend days running from my demons with booze but it doesn’t help to take any of the pain away.AllIconstantly feel is numb.NowI’mwondering when it will all end.
Ishould just kill myself so she’ll be happy and live her life without me in it.Shedoesn’t want me anymore.Howlong has she been gone now?I’velost count.Shehasn’t even called me once.
MASON
Irollover onto my back with a groan.Myentire body hurts plus,I’vegot a nasty headache.Islowly open my eyes and the light instantly causes them to burn.Whatthe hell happened?Ifeel likeIgot hit by a truck.
Idon’t even know what day it is.AllIcan remember is drinking… so much drinking.IthinkI’vebeen doing that for days now, or has it been weeks?Idon’t know anymore.
AllIknow is that the hole in my chest keeps getting bigger and bigger and it won’t stop hurting.Istill haven’t heard from my girl and it’s been weeks.It’slike she’s forgotten all about me.Ifucking hate that.
Mybrother andHunterhave kept me here all this time orIwould’ve already made it toLondon.Theysaid to give her space.Space, space, and fucking space!Howmuch fucking space does she need whenI’mslowly dying here without her?
Isit up and can barely keep myself upright with all the booze still in my system.I’msurprisedI’mnot sweating booze to be honest.Lastnight,Ireally went out,Ithink.Iremember sneaking away to the club since these two here act worse than prison guards.
IknowIdrank a lot andImight have even done some drugs.Whothe hell knows?I’mnot even sure howImade it home… it definitely looks like home.Onelook around andIsee that it’s my office.Huh?Whenthe hell did it get cleaned up and fixed?
“Youlook like absolute fucking shit,”Ihear from behind my desk.
“So?Whothe fuck cares?”Iask my brother.
“Ido, you fucking asshole!Areyou so intent on dying?WhatamIgoing to do if you’re gone too?Becauseat the rate you’re going you could be dead as soon as tomorrow if you’re not careful,”Graybarks at me.Atleast that’s what it sounds like to my pounding head.
“You’llbe fine.You’llhave my inheritance plus you have your own millions.You’llsurvive, bro.”
“Idon’t care about the money, you ass!Icare about you.Whatthe fuck is wrong with you?”
“Whatdo you mean what’s wrong with me?Shefucking left me!Ihaven’t heard from her in…”Istop and pause to think. “Howlong has it been since she left?”
“Todaymakes a month,” he says quietly.
“Awhole fucking month and not one word.Howthe fuck do you think that makes me feel?I’mfucking dying here, man, andIdon’t give a fuck about anything anymore.Nothingmatters without her here.Don’tyou get that?”Isnap.
“Remindme to never fall in love, ever,” he mumbles.Amoment later, he stands to his feet and walks toward me. “Comeon, let’s go get you cleaned up and fed.”
“I’mfine.”
“Idon’t fucking care!”
Iroll my eyes and follow him becauseIcan’t deal with his shit, along with my own shit right now.Atleast the other annoying ass isn’t here to start with his shit, too.
“Youlook and smell foul,”Ihear as we walk toward the stairs.Whoops, spoke too soon.
“Haveyou always been this annoying or amIjust lucky?”
“You’rejust lucky, baby,”Huntersays with a smirk on his face.
“You’rean ass,”Igrumble.
“So, you keep saying butI’mactually awesome!”
“Whatever.Haveeither of you heard from her?”Iask and they both stay quiet.Fromthe guilty looks on their faces,Iknow that they have spoken to her.I’mthe only one she’s refusing to speak to and, man, that shit hurts my gut.Hell, my whole fucking soul ifI’mbeing honest. “Justtell me one thing.Isshe okay?”
“Yeah, she’s okay,”Hunterfinally answers. “She’sbeen seeing her therapist if that helps.Itmeans she’s working on herself.”
“Yeah…”Ianswer in a sigh. “Youguys can go now.I’mjust going to shower and then take a nap.”
“Areyou sure you don’t want us to keep you company?”
