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But that night in the gondola she didn’t hide from me. She admitted her fears and she voiced her needs and I gave her what she wanted. What she needed. Which was simply myself. My time. My body. My complete attention.
I’d do it again. I always will. I will give her anything and everything she asks of me. What’s mine is hers.
I am hers.
But tonight she asked and I didn’t hear her. She told me she loved me but she didn’t want anything else from me. Nothing else. She tried to minimise herself. She shrank in front of me because she didn’t think that I could ever offer her the same.
That’s not the Talia I want to see. Ever. I want angry Talia. Feisty Talia. Resilient Talia who does what she wants and needs to. She can’t shrink. She’s my whole world and I do not want her vanishing out of it. Ever.
I want her to say it again. I don’t want her keeping anything back from me. I want her to trust me. I ache for that. But admitting that I want her. Need her. That’s scary.
But she did things for those she loves too—she helped Ava. She protected Ava by not wanting her to worry.
What she did tonight told me so much—I just needed the space to think it through. She pre-emptively pushed me away because she thinks I don’t love her. Because she thinks I’m with her only out of a sense of duty. It isn’t duty. It’s an undeniable ache that’s assuaged only when I’m close to her. When I laugh with her. When I lie in bed with her. When I’m near her.
It’s heartache. And I’m in trouble.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Talia
I WAKE AND BLINK. I’m in a room I don’t recognise. Then memory bites.
I moved my backpack to the pool house last night. I don’t know if or when Dain came home. I barely slept but heard nothing. I was too busy replaying that horrific conversation. I told him I love him. He tore me to shreds.
It hurts. I wipe the tears from my eyes but they keep spilling. Endless silent tears. It’s very early but I need to see Lukas. I look an embarrassing mess, but the nanny won’t say anything. She’s the latest of Dain’s utterly discreet employees—contracted and paid a fortune to keep silent on his personal business because he doesn’t trust anyone.
I warily walk through the house. It’s quiet and feels ominously empty and my heart skips—what if he’s taken him? Surely he wouldn’t. He loves Lukas. He wants what’s best for him and he knows that means both of us in our son’s life. I pass my bedroom door. It’s open and it’s obvious I didn’t sleep in there last night. The staff probably assume I was in Dain’s room anyway.
But Lukas’s room is empty too and I reach for the wall for support.
‘The nanny’s taken him for a walk,’ Dain says from behind me. ‘He’s already had breakfast.’
I jump and turn. My pulse spikes at the sight of him. He’s in jeans and a tee. Not crumpled. Effortlessly elegant as always. The only hint of any strain is the stubble on his jaw and the shadow beneath his beautiful eyes. ‘Oh. Then I’ll go back...’
I can’t finish my sentence. I can’t keep looking at him. I drop my gaze to the floor and walk, talking myself through one step at a time. I just need to get away and I’ll be okay. Eventually.
‘Stop.’ His voice is thready. ‘Stay. Please.’
And now I can’t move. I’m stuck in the corridor of his gorgeous home and I can’t get past him. Literally.
He exhales heavily. ‘You come into my life and give me a glimpse of everything I could ever want and the next minute you’re gone. You leave me. I can’t stand it.’
My anger lifts. ‘Last night you told me to go.’
‘Last night I didn’t know what I was doing.’
I shoot him a startled look.
‘I wasn’t thinking.’ He steps towards me carefully. ‘I was upset.’
I swallow. ‘I’m sorry I said that to Chloe—’
‘I don’t give a damn about what she or anyone else thinks,’ he interrupts me roughly.
‘But I’m sorry I said...’
His facade cracks. ‘Sorry you told me you love me?’
