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I shrivel—emotionally that is. If only I could really shrivel right out of existence. How did he know? Did he guess? I’m mortified. ‘I...’
Can’t even breathe the words.
But he just waits.
‘Why does it matter?’ I mumble as I eventually nod.
‘Why didn’t you tell me then?’
I swallow.
‘You couldn’t, right?’ he says. ‘You couldn’t be that vulnerable.’
‘I’ve never regretted it. Not for a moment,’ I reassure him in an embarrassed rush. ‘It was amazing. You were...’ I trail off and look at him. ‘Are you even more angry with me?’
‘I’m feeling all kinds of things about you, Talia. But yeah, anger is one of them.’ He looks thoughtful. ‘And you’re jealous of my supposed lifestyle?’
My lips are suddenly dry and I lick them. ‘Do you deny your lifestyle is...uh...exciting?’
‘I don’t think it’s as extensive as what you’re thinking.’ He looks right into my eyes.
I don’t want to think about it too closely. ‘Oh?’
His gaze is unwavering. ‘I haven’t had sex in about a year.’
My jaw drops. ‘You mean...?’
No. Surely not.
He closes my mouth with a finger beneath my chin. ‘Yeah. I do mean.’ His gaze deepens. ‘Let me guess, you don’t believe me.’
‘I...’ Am floored.
‘Yet it’s true,’ he says and he’s somehow even closer.
‘Why didn’t you?’ I blurt.
‘Why didn’t you?’
I can’t answer.
‘Here’s the thing, Talia,’ he says slowly. ‘I won’t lie to you either. If nothing else there has to be absolute honesty between us because we have to work together. For Lukas. So honesty always. Deal?’
I’m bamboozled by his revelation but I hear that caveat—if nothing else.
‘Deal,’ I breathe.
He doesn’t look satisfied. In fact his expression tightens and he’s somehow closer.
‘You’ve worked hard to care for your sister for a long time. Worked hard to care for Lukas,’ he says almost thoughtfully. ‘You’ve never let anyone take care of your needs—not until that night with me, right?’
I can only stare at him.
‘And not since then?’ His sudden smile is saturnine. ‘You should be indulged, Talia.’
‘I should.’ My spellbound agreement slides out on a whisper.
I can’t turn away from him. I can’t look away from the heat in his blue, blue eyes. I can’t ignore this desire any more. I’m utterly still as he slowly moves closer. His smile is all I can see. His touch is all I want. And at last he’s there—his mouth is on mine. I open to him on a moan and he echoes it with one of his own. The pressure is hot and escalates in seconds. I clutch his shoulders. I thought I’d remembered but I was wrong. This intensity shuts my mind down. I just want him. All of him. Here. Now.
