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I shoot him a startled look.
‘You lied to Ava very easily about us,’ he elaborates.
I press my lips together. ‘Only because I didn’t want her to worry at all. Not ever.’
‘I guessed that was why.’ He sighs. ‘But it makes me wonder who you do ever open up to.’
I shoot him another startled look and pull my hand free of his. He doesn’t try to stop me.
His low bitter laugh mocks me. ‘Yeah, no one. I figured that.’
I’m irritated because I’m certain he doesn’t open up to anyone either. ‘And your point?’
He straightens in his seat and leans closer. ‘I don’t want you to lie to me. Not ever.’
He echoes my words. I swallow because while it could be considered a threat it’s more of a warm invitation and it’s utterly disarming.
‘I’d like you to promise me that you won’t,’ he adds steadily. ‘And don’t hold back on all the truth either.’
Yeah, he knows I omit things. Because I just have and of course he knows it. But it’s for good reason—or so I’ve always thought.
‘I think you owe me that,’ he finishes.
I realise the photos weren’t enough. Nor was the apology. He needs the whole truth. He’s done all the right things since finding out about Lukas. He’s tried to give me time, space, he’s taken me to see Ava and offered unquestioning support. I haven’t. I need to be honest with him.
Not making more of an effort to tell him about Lukas was terrible. It’s as though a fog has lifted from my mind. For me to hold his lifestyle against him—to be so judgemental—was wrong. I need to course correct. Now.
‘You know that night at the gondola was out of character for me.’ My throat clogs because this is personal and it’s hard to say.
His eyes widen and he slowly nods. ‘Yet you assume it wasn’t out of character for me also?’ His focus is even more intense now. ‘What do you think you know about me?’
I bite my lip, embarrassed because I’ve been emotional. He wants to be there for Lukas. He wants to make everything work between us. He’s trying. So I need to try too. I need to be honest even if it means more anger from him.
‘I found a photo of you with another woman taken later on the night we were together.’ The thought of it still turns my stomach. Was she his girlfriend? I hate to think I was the other woman in a cheating situation.
He sits up straight. ‘You what?’
‘I know you met up with another woman that night.’ I hurry to tell him I know the truth. ‘It’s your prerogative, I guess, it’s not like we were—’
‘You—’
‘Allowed my own prejudice to cloud my thinking,’ I interrupt him because I need to get all this said before I chicken out. ‘I made assumptions and I was wrong to and I’m sorry. And the thing is—if I’m really honest with myself it’s not because I was being judgemental of your lifestyle. But rather I was jealous.’
His jaw drops. ‘Of this other woman?’
‘No.’ I swallow. ‘Of you.’
He looks mystified. ‘For...’
‘Having fun?’ I shrug and finish weakly. It’s so stupid and I’ve made bad decisions because of it.
I assumed he wouldn’t be interested in being a father. None of the cheats my mother dated ever were. My own cheat of a father sure wasn’t. I tarnished Dain with their brush.
He stares at me for a moment. I can’t read his reaction as he rubs his mouth with his fingers.
‘Show me the photo,’ he suddenly orders.
‘I can’t. I don’t have it.’
