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‘Wasn’t it cancelled because of the storm? Surely the bar was closed after the power cut? You could have taken two minutes to say goodbye.’
Because goodbye was all there should’ve been to say. I don’t answer and he doesn’t wait long.
‘When did you find out you were pregnant?’
He’s going direct. I’ve imagined this conversation so many times but I still struggle to explain. ‘I’d been working long hours and just thought I was irregular. It wasn’t till I started showing that I...’ Completely panicked. ‘That I did a test.’
‘Were you taking care of yourself?’
I stiffen. ‘I don’t party, if that’s what you’re worried about.’
There’s a rueful twist to his lips I don’t quite understand.
‘I’m more worried about the hours you work.’
I don’t respond because ironically it’s right this second that I realise how horribly tired I am. I’ve been filming late at night, baking early morning, caring for Lukas round the clock all while recovering from his birth.
‘You knew the baby was mine?’ His voice lowers.
My shrug is non-committal because I don’t want to tell him that he’s the only person I’ve ever slept with.
His gaze flickers. ‘You didn’t consider ending the pregnancy?’
Maybe he thinks I’m irresponsible given I’m in not in the best position to care for him? Once I was past that initial amazement I was elated. ‘Even if I’d found out sooner, I wouldn’t have done anything differently.’
‘Including not trying harder to contact me?’
The truth is I’ll do anything to keep my baby, but I can’t tell him that because it will give him absolute power over me. Even though he’ll likely have that anyway, given he has resources I can’t compete with. I’ll have to compromise.
‘I love Lukas,’ I say huskily, my heart aching. ‘I tried to contact you. When you didn’t reply I stopped.’
‘Your family helped?’
I’m thrown. ‘My what?’
‘Did they support you through the pregnancy?’ He frowns. ‘Your parents?’
I’m so stunned I’m too honest in my answer. ‘I haven’t had parental support in years.’
‘They’re dead?’
‘It’s been so long since I saw my father he might as well be,’ I mutter. ‘My mother is around but...’
‘You’re not close.’
My mum’s way of coping with anything bad is to uproot and ship out. Unfortunately bad stuff happens to her frequently and usually involves some jerk. She’s been desperate for someone to depend on for my whole life and made way too many bad choices in that search. We had to move far too often, which impacted on my and Ava’s friendships and our education—not that Mum cared about those things. Or us.
But I did. I’d already been working part-time for years to supplement what little money Mum made and I didn’t want Ava to have to start over in yet another school. I dropped out and worked full time, that way I could afford a tutor to extend her. The school turned a blind eye to the fact no one turned up to parent-teacher interviews. But I don’t explain all this to Dain, he’s frowning enough as it is.
‘I’ve been supporting myself since I was a teenager.’ I lift my head proudly. ‘I work several jobs and work hard.’ It’s never been easy but I’ve supported Ava for years and now Lukas too. ‘My social media channel is building and income is trickling in from that. I don’t want to lose momentum.’
‘You don’t need to make money,’ he dismisses. ‘You can delete the channel.’
‘Pardon?’ If I had hackles, they’d be on end. ‘My career matters to me.’
‘You never have to work again if you don’t want to.’
‘What? And be completely dependent upon you?’ I’m appalled and a horrifying thought occurs to me. ‘I don’t want to be a kept woman. Certainly not your wife.’
