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‘That’s my name.’
‘But he’s my child.’
I brace and look right into his angry eyes. ‘Our child.’
I’ve already given him two of Dain’s family names. It was for balance and frankly more than generous enough.
The image slides into my head again. The one I hate. I know Dain went straight from that liaison with me into the arms of another woman that night. Whether she was his girlfriend or not I don’t know. I don’t want to. The thought of being the ‘other woman’ sucks. The pictures I saw online that next morning made me feel sick. In fact I felt sick every time I so much as thought of him for weeks after. And I kept thinking of him. Kept feeling sick. Morning sickness, in fact. Because I’m an idiot.
‘You didn’t tell me.’ His rage is less suppressed now.
‘You ignored my messages. Why are you here?’ I ask him again before he can deny getting them again. ‘Why unannounced?’
Is it to startle me? Because if so, it’s certainly worked.
He stands, towering again, embodying the huge, threatening shadow he’s become in my life. ‘You need to come with me,’ he demands.
‘I don’t think so.’
‘We need to talk.’
I’m suddenly furious. Does he think he can ignore my messages and then just turn up? I can’t let him storm in and blow up my life when I’ve come through the worst days after giving birth. When I almost have a sustainable routine going.
‘You’ve had plenty of time to talk to me. You’ve chosen not to.’ I go stone cold inside. ‘I messaged multiple times and you ignored them.’
But the blank denial in his eyes is so real, I falter. He’s shockingly pale. His breathing is uneven. To my eternal horror I know this is all news to him. But I push on because now I’m terrified. ‘Your chance to be involved has been and gone.’
His cool gaze slides over my face and drops to the baby again. ‘Wrong. This is the first I’ve...’
I don’t want to believe him. But I do. And now I feel atrocious.
‘Then why are you in Queenstown if not to see us?’ I whisper.
‘Checking on a project.’
It’s business.
I’m incredibly—stupidly—hurt. It’s purely because of fate that he’s found us. I shouldn’t have gone for a walk today. I should have gone upstairs to feed Lukas. Then he wouldn’t have seen us. Disappointment slices into me. It’s the destruction of the last flicker of hope I hadn’t realised I still had. But I’m still weak enough to be attracted to him even when he’s ignored me till now. That I could be this crushed—again—is appalling. I’m as vulnerable as my mother and being that gullible—falling for a wealthy, good-looking cheater—was something I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do.
I tear my gaze from Dain and look down at my baby. He’s tiny, precious, so vulnerable and I’m overwhelmed by the need to protect him. I don’t want him hurt. Not the way I was. I’ll do anything to shield him from the wounds of being unwanted. I lean closer to him and breathe in his sweet baby scent. He has his father’s eyes. The midwife told me that baby’s eyes are often blue at first but that they can change, but that hasn’t happened yet, and I don’t think it will. He has Dain’s dark brown hair too. And his ability to consume every inch of my attention.
‘We don’t need your help,’ I mutter.
‘No? Then why are you sleeping on a park bench in the mid-morning, like you’re a homeless person?’
‘We were just getting some fresh air.’ But I’m overly defensive because if it weren’t for my boss, Romy, we would be homeless. I live above her café. I know it’s not ideal. I work in the kitchen in the very early hours—baking the muffins and pastries for the day. I’m still building my channel and film at night in the café when it’s closed. But Lukas is a demanding baby and I can’t care for him at the café and disturb the customers downstairs during the day. That’s why I take him for long walks along the waterfront.
Now that I’d fed him I was letting him sleep for a moment before tucking him properly back into his sling so I could walk back. But I’m tired. I’ve done today’s baking. I’ve done my own work overnight so I snatch sleep in short shifts whenever I can. I’m doing okay and working my butt off to do better. Because I adore Lukas and I’ll do whatever necessary to provide for him. But it’s hard. Even so, I definitely don’t want Dain’s help now.
‘Talia.’
Bleary-eyed, I glance up at him again. He’s beautiful. It’s like a boulder landing in my stomach—immobilising me. He’s also determined. And fiercely strong—physically and mentally. Panic sweeps, darkening everything in the world except for him—as if he’s in the damned spotlight—he’s all I can see. And what I feel is overwhelming.
I liked him. A lot. But he—like everyone—let me down. I know that the only person I can ever really rely on is myself. Lukas is relying on me too.
And I know giving in to whatever Dain is about to demand will be dangerous. If he wins now, he’ll think he can win always.
‘Let’s go to your home,’ he says. ‘We’ll talk there.’
