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Cat laughs. “Want another? I’m going to grab one. I can get you one.”
“Yes, please.” I’m already standing. “Can you watch my purse?”
“Your phone is ringing,” she yells as I head for the bathroom.
“I’ll call whoever it is back!” I call out, certain it’s not Cole since he’s in the interview, and my bladder will not wait. I reach the door I’m seeking to find it locked. Great. Just great. I eye the men’s room. I might have to use it. A man passes me and enters, stealing that great idea right out of reach. I am dying. I knock despite the fact that I hate when people do that, but I’m desperate here. Another full minute passes and finally, the woman in the bathroom exits with her lipstick freshly polished, which she clearly did while I suffered.
I quickly enter the bathroom, lock myself inside and do what I need to do. Sixty seconds later, I am a new person and I wash up, glancing in the mirror while flashing back to last night with Cole. He pushed me hard. I grab the sink, a rush of so many memories filling my mind. Cole touching me, kissing me, taking me, and us, places that we have never been, but I know it wasn’t about the physical. It was about trust.
Cole doubts my trust, but he’s wrong to do so; I trust him. I hate that he feels otherwise and all because when I feel unsettled, or out of control, I immediately insulate myself. I know I do. I needed to be there for him, so I blocked out everything that might make me weak, including my attack. I don’t know how Cole would have dealt with my attack, though, if I’d been weak, if I’d crumbled. I did the right thing. I was strong for him, but deep down I know I’m still guarded, still afraid of being hurt, or loving Cole so much that I can’t live without him and then I have to. I need to just talk to Cole. I love that man. He listens. We’ll figure it out. And that certainty is why I shouldn’t be afraid. I know him. I know us. He is a part of me.
I suddenly remember the phone call and the idea that it might be my mother and she might need something hits me, though of course, she has her new man. She’s fine. Everything is fine. I breathe. I’m not running out of here in a panic to call my mother. I need to deep breathe. I need to stop expecting the worst. I can. Will. Because of Cole. I’m stronger with him than without him and I don’t say that enough. I’m going to tonight.
I open the door and gasp. A tall, bulky man who is all too familiar is standing directly in front of me, as if he was pushed up to the door, waiting for it to open. Shock radiates through me. “Roger,” I gasp t and back up. “What are you doing here? How are you here?”
He stalks toward me, forcing me further into the bathroom, and when he’s able, he seals us inside. “I only shut the door so I can talk to you without someone stopping me.” He holds up his hands. “I mean you no harm.” His eyes are bloodshot, pained. “I don’t know who I was the day I came at you. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Anger rushes over me and so many pent-up feelings. I’m shaking all over. “You didn’t mean to scare me? You ran at me. You trapped me. You punched my husband.”
His face reddens. “I thought you were—I thought you got off a killer. Her killer. My sister’s killer.” He runs fingers through his hair. “I lost my mind. I’ve never done anything like that.” He leans against the door. “We lost our parents in a car accident. I was a teenager, sixteen. She was twelve. I dragged her out of the car and—” He looks away and then back at me, tears streaming down his cheeks. “The car exploded. My parents died. Our parents died. I’ve always protected her.” His lashes lower, torment ripping over his features, seeming to gut him and it’s then that I realize that I’m crying with him, shaking with the impact of his emotions slamming into me. He looks at me. “I didn’t protect her this time. I thought you didn’t either, but you did. You and the people around you are why he’s in jail now.”
“This wasn’t your fault,” I say. “You aren’t the reason she died. He is. He’s a monster.”
“I was supposed to take her to dinner that night. I had a woman I’d been asking out finally agree to have coffee with me. I cancelled on my sister.” His fists ball at his sides. “I fucking cancelled dinner.”
Oh my God. I feel punched. I don’t know how to help him, but I want to. I need to. “It’s not your fault.”
“Stop saying that. I wanted to scare you. I wanted to scare your husband. I wanted to make you pay. I don’t deserve your sympathy. Just—I’m sorry. I won’t ever bother you again.”
He opens the door and exits and I follow him, gasping as Savage shoves him against a wall. “Cuff the bastard,” he shouts at Smith.
“No!” I shout. “No. No! He was apologizing.”
Savage looks at me. “By cornering you in a bathroom. I don’t think so.”
“Please,” I say. “He just—he’s—”
“Lori!”
At the sound of Cole’s voice, I rotate to have him grab me, pulling me to him. “Tell me you’re okay. Tell me.” He pulls back to look at me. “Lori—”
“I’m okay, but he was just apologizing. Please make them uncuff him.”
“No. No, I’m not making them uncuff him. I can’t. He violated his restraining order.”
“He’s in pain. He said—he said so much.” I start crying again. “Please. I can’t let him get taken away.” I turn in Cole’s arms to find Savage shoving Roger out the back door. I press my hands to my face, and tears burn through me.
“Lori!”
At the sound of Cat’s voice, I just can’t turn. I’m too tormented by that man’s pain and the idea that I’ve just added to it. She steps in front of me and hugs me. “He pulled her from a car before it exploded,” I whisper. “And watched his parents die in the car.”
She pulls back and Cole must have heard because I feel his hand tighten on my waist where they’ve settled. “Oh God,” she whispers, tears springing to her eyes.
“He was supposed to have dinner with her that night and he cancelled for a date.”
“Oh my God,” she says, again. “That poor man.”
Savage opens the door and shouts, “This way.”
