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“Right,” I say, my throat going dry. “You’re right. Now is a bad time.”
“Oh God. Lori, I didn’t mean this is a bad time for you to be pregnant.”
“But it is. Cole and Reese came together for a reason. They’re on top, and they have a firm to build.” I change the subject with a hard push. “Did you hear the DA called Cole to his office?”
“Yes, and I know about the settlement and also know that you just changed the subject.”
“I just need to take the test and stop talking about it and babies.”
“Where’s Cole now? Can you go grab one?”
“He’s meeting with your brother to deal with the settlement negotiation. He could walk in the door any minute.”
“If you two don’t come to dinner tomorrow night, come by and read my new project. I’ll have the tests waiting for you.”
We chat a few more minutes and disconnect, which is a relief. I can’t think about pregnancy tests right now. I can’t think about a pregnancy making Cole even more crazy. I can’t ruin his career because he won’t take the cases he needs to take to push forward.
I need to think about what happened today with Cole. I key my computer to life and search the client he turned down today. It’s not long before I find him to be a vicious killer in business, with connections to Texas, Houston specifically, which explains why he was so quick to call Cole when he was in trouble. Maybe Cole knows him or knows things about him. Maybe, but I know that wasn’t the entire problem.
The door buzzes with the security system telling me that Cole is home. I don’t move. I’m frozen here, and I’m not even sure why. I just—I know we’re in one of those bumps in the road. We have fought them before, but this feels different. I suck in a breath and Cole appears, his tie at half undone, his jacket over his arm. He stares at me for several beats, his eyes unreadable, the lines of his handsome face hard.
He sets his jacket and briefcase on the couch and looks at me, but I’m on this side of it and he’s on the other. He presses his hands to the back of the couch. “I’m staying over here so that I can talk to you, rather than fuck you, because fucking you might feel good, but it doesn’t solve anything.”
I swallow hard. “I would agree.”
“Do not threaten me with leaving in any way shape or form. That doesn’t work for me or for us.”
I suck in a breath with the barely contained fury in his voice. “You mean when I resigned.”
“Yes, I fucking mean when you resigned. You talk to me. You fight with me. But there is no quitting or leaving. We are either in this together all the way or not. I need to know now.”
“Leaving my job isn’t about leaving us.”
“Isn’t it? Because that was part of what we wanted. To be back at work together. To live this life together. And if you just want to do something separate because you need independence, I get it. I’ll support that and you, but do not use it to manipulate my decisions. That will not go well for us.”
I go down on my knees on the couch in front of him. “How can you even begin to think I was threatening you or manipulating you? That’s not me. That’s not us.”
“You’re right. It’s not. So, what the hell was that, Lori?”
“You can’t make decisions based on me.”
“The hell I can’t.”
“You can’t. If we’re to work together, you can’t. We both want to work challenging cases, high-profile cases, Cole. Any client could lead to a problem. We’d have to change professions to avoid that and even then, there could be some other risk.”
“That doesn’t make this moment the right moment to take that risk. I’m still negotiating a settlement for the victims. You haven’t even dealt with being attacked and it will hit you. You will have to deal with it. This is not the right time, but putting that aside, you cannot question me at work, on the spot, in front of Ashley. Just as I won’t you. That belongs here or behind closed doors and not on speakerphone or you’re right. We can’t work together.”
“I know,” I say. “I regretted that the moment it happened. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” My hands cover his, my voice roughening with emotion. “You have done so much to support me. I just don’t want to hold you back. I feel like I’m the reason those demons are out of the box. I know I am.”
“You are not the reason. I’m the reason. I let them get the best of me, but I deal with them the same way you dealt with yours; with action. I’m taking action. I’m making people pay for what they did, for the people they hurt, including you. I’m taking this all the way to completion and when that’s done, then I’ll take a case, and I’ll win that case. You need to decide if you want to do that on the field with me or from the sidelines.” He pushes off the couch and starts walking toward the stairs.
I stare after him, stunned that he’s walked away. That’s not Cole, not with me. He stands. He fights, and now I’m standing, pacing, trying to understand what just happened. I replay the entire conversation and stop dead in my tracks. I used the worst tool possible to get to him today. I threatened to leave at least a part of our life, when losing me is what he’s battling and while I apologized I didn’t say what he needed to hear.
I race up the stairs and enter the bathroom to hear the shower running. I step into the bathroom to find Cole under the spray of water. I quickly strip and walk to the door, opening it and joining him. His hand runs over his hair, smoothing it from his face. “I shouldn’t have resigned. I don’t want to leave. I love working with you. I love every second. I was just worried about you. I was just—I need to protect you, too. Because that’s what we do. We protect each other. Cole, I—”
I never finish that sentence. He grabs me and pulls me to him, his mouth covering mine in a passionate, hungry kiss before he says, “Don’t ever say you’re leaving again. Not like that.”
“I won’t. I promise. But promise me—”
