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“It’s not about pain, Lori. It will sting at most. It’s about escape. It’s about the freedom to be vulnerable for just a little window of time when you don’t dare any other time.”
That he knows this about me, is unbelievable. He doesn’t know me. How can he know this?
“It’s about the adrenaline and the high and the way we’re into what is happening right here and now, that nothing else exists.”
“And if I don’t want to do this?”
“We fuck and we enjoy it,” he says simply, no hesitation in him, and I sense that he means it. There’s no pressure. I really feel that from this man.
“And if I do?”
“Then I’ll make sure you enjoy it, sweetheart. Really enjoy it.”
This is intimate. It’s control I am handing him, that I wouldn’t allow anyone I know, and with good reason. I know them. They could use it against me. They could twist it and me with it, and— “I’m not—”
He kisses me. “Then we won’t,” he says softly.
“Going to see you again,” I finish.
He pulls back and arches a brow. “But you’ll let me spank you? Is that what you’re saying?”
I answer in my own head first:
No consequences.
No names.
Him in control.
Not me.
For once, not me.
“Do it,” I whisper, my heart about to explode in my chest. “But don’t give me time to think about it. Don’t—”
He kisses me, a deep, long, drugging kiss before he says, “I won’t just do it. That’s punishment. That’s pain. That’s not how a spanking for pleasure works. It’s erotic play and thinking about it, anticipating it, is part of the high.”
“No room for anything but here and now,” I say, repeating his words, embracing those words.
“Exactly,” he agrees. “And we both know that’s what you’re looking for tonight. And I get it, Lori. That’s why people play these kinds of games, for pleasure and escape.”
“So, you—you make a habit of playing these games?”
“Not a habit,” he assures me. “But I was a member of a club right out of law school,” he says. “It was—an intense time for me for many reasons. I needed an uncomplicated release that didn’t fuck with my head afterward.”
It feels like a personal confession I shouldn’t welcome, but I do. I’m curious about him. More than I wish I was curious about him. “This kind of play has a place,” he gives me a lift of his lips, a hint of a smile, “it works for many of us who need control, and therefore, fail miserably at drug and alcohol abuses.”
He scoots us to the edge of the chair and then takes a knee in front of me. “We’re both going to want to fuck when it’s over. That means I need to put that condom on now.” He brushes his lips over mine and stands up, leaving me naked, and on the edge of my soon-to-be spanked seat, quite literally. I have a moment when I want to fold my arms across my chest, but I force myself to resist the urge. Tonight is about being daring, unapologetically in charge of my desires, and I don’t feel out of control. I said yes. I made this decision. I want to experience new things, and do so with this man.
Cole reaches into his back pocket and produces his wallet, removing a foil package before tossing the wallet on the coffee table. I grip the cushion on either side of me, aware that my breasts are thrust forward, aware that his eyes rake over them, so aware that my thighs squeeze together while I wait for what comes next, anticipate what comes next.
My gaze lifts to his and what I find is not dominant, alpha attitude, despite the fact that he’s naturally dominant; I don’t find this revelation of a spanking to create a new dynamic between us of dominant and submissive. Instead, he gives me a wink, his lips curving ever so slightly. “Quid pro quo, right, sweetheart? Now you get to watch me undress.”
I’m surprised at how easily I laugh. “A little late,” I say, “but yes.”
“I’ll make it up to you,” he promises, making fast work of his button and zipper before sliding his pants and his underwear down in one long motion.
Then he’s all mine to view, long, lean muscle, and rippling abs, and then, of course, there is his impressive erection jutting forward between us. My gaze jerks from it to him and he arches a brow. “Do I get your approval?” he asks.
