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It’s funny—because I could just as easily be talking about myself. After all, how many times did I call Rowan’s answerphone, knowing full well that he’d ditched his cell long ago? How many letters did I send that went forever unopened?
All that time, I didn’t even know where he was. Otherwise you bet your ass I’d have been here too, staking out Starlight Ridge for the return of my best friend. He’s the only family I’ve got.
Rowan sobers, and we wash and dry in silence for a while. When I glance over, my buddy looks a decade older, his shoulders tensed like mountains of guilt are weighing on them.
“If I could take it all back,” he begins, then cuts off with a shake of his head.
“You weren’t well,” I say simply. At the end of the day, that’s all there is to it. If Rowan broke his leg, we wouldn’t judge him for not running on it. This isn’t so different—except his injuries were invisible, caused by the demons that came home with him from war.
And it’s not like he met Evie and a magical switch was flipped. She was the catalyst, sure, the inspiration for something better, but it’s been a lot of work since. For the last year, Rowan’s had weekly therapy and read every book on PTSD recovery he could find. The guy’s putting in the hard yards, and you’ve gotta respect that.
“You’re doing fine,” I say, proclaiming it to the kitchen sink. As I hear the words, I’m pleased to discover I believe them. “Just fine. I’ll tell Tess that too, if you like. Later at the wishing pool.”
Rowan nudges my shoulder with his own. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”
“Sure.”
Lord knows why Tess would believe it from me, of all people, but hey… maybe I can help her feel better too.
Turns out I’d do pretty much anything to make that woman feel better.
“She grew up a lot while I was gone. Tess was sixteen when I first left for active duty. She’s twenty five now, and so much has changed.” Rowan slides a plate onto the stack in the cupboard, talking quietly so the girls can’t hear us from outside. “It’s like she’s jaded. Hardened by life, and so young. I don’t think she’s ever even been on a single date, not that she’s told me anyway, and she already jokes about being alone forever.”
My gut sloshes worse than the soapy dish water.
“Well, dating’s not for everyone.” My tone is light, but inside I’m wailing. Does that mean I’d have no chance with her anyway? Even if this weren’t off limits? Has the woman of my dreams sworn off relationships forever? For some reason that’s depressing as hell, even if I can never have her myself.
I swear to god: an angel like Tess isn’t meant to be lonely.
An angel like Tess should be worshiped day and night.
“Maybe it’s for the best,” Rowan jokes, tossing the damp dish towel onto the counter and digging through the drawer for a fresh one. “This way I don’t need to threaten some asshole into treating my baby sister well.”
“Yeah.” I laugh weakly, fumbling for more spoons. “That’s true.”
Well, shit. That’s the weakest silver lining I ever heard.
Five
Tess
The wishing pool is tucked away in the mountains above Starlight Ridge, up where the breeze whistles over the rocks and shakes the pine needles from their branches. It’s a local superstition: if you need some extra luck in your life, if there’s a wish you’re hoping and dreaming will come true, you hike on up to the wishing pool and flick a penny into its waters.
For extra credit, if you really want to go the extra mile, you can slip into the pool yourself and bathe beneath the wide-open skies. It’s cold enough to make your teeth chatter, but after a long, sweaty hike up the trail, that’s half the appeal. Besides, who doesn’t want a little extra luck?
“Makes sense to me,” Ash says when I lay it all out for him, explaining our destination as we hike up between the trees. “Why go all that way and not dunk under? ‘Specially if it means extra luck.”
“Exactly.”
My muscles are burning already, arms swinging by my sides. Every breath that puffs out of me is extra loud. Need to keep reminding myself to slow down, that we’ve got a pregnant lady not far behind us who can’t go charging up a mountainside at top pace, but something about walking beside this man is making me antsy.
Because Ash is as big and broad and masculine as I remember, with thick brown hair and chestnut eyes that crinkle at the corners. Not to mention that square jaw. It seemed impossible, once I left Rowan and Evie’s cabin after breakfast, that I wasn’t exaggerating him in my mind.
But nope. My brother’s best friend really does loom beside me on this trail, brushing slender tree branches out of our path with a hand the size of a baseball mitt. No wonder there are silent fireworks going off inside my body. Every time Ash speaks, it’s so deep and rumbly that my toes curl in my sneakers.
“You two go on ahead,” Evie calls when we stop to wait for her and Rowan for the dozenth time. They’re further back down the trail, her red hair glinting in the evening light as it filters between the trees, but she’s grinning as she waves us on. “We’ll catch up. Rowan will keep me company—won’t you?”
Rowan says something to her that I can’t make out, but that makes Evie cackle with delighted laughter. She whacks her husband’s arm with the back of her hand.
