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“I’m going inside. Going to make sure we didn’t wake anyone else up.” I turn on my heel and head inside, my heart ricocheting around in my chest. If I’ve come this far with her to lose her now because I walked straight into his fucking trap, I don’t know how I’ll live with myself.
33
Beatrix
I watch Cooper storm back into the house, clearly pissed. Even once he’s gone, the energy of his presence is still electric, still surrounding Rob and me as we stand out here in the late summer humidity. A frog croaks noisily in the distance, and heat lightning dashes across the sky before he says anything.
“He’ll only hurt you. He’ll play whoever he has to to get what he wants out of you, and then when you need him, he’ll be nowhere to be found.”
“Sounds familiar.” I fold my arms over my chest.
Rob’s jaw goes slack, and his eyes turn down, a deep sigh coming out of him.
“I fucked up a lot. I know that. I know you hate me for a lot of things, and I’m sure this week didn’t help. But I do still care about you, Bea. I still want to see you happy.”
“I don’t hate you. I learned a lot about myself and what I want in the future. I’m a little confused about your current situation given what you told me about kids that aren’t yours, but it’s also none of my business.”
His shoulders sag, and he tries to roll them back again like he’s aware he’s wilting under this pressure.
“I started seeing her shortly after we broke up. She said and did all the right things.”
It stings a little. The idea that she was capable of filling desires of his that I never could. But then I feel the same way, so I can’t exactly blame him.
“So does Cooper.”
“Which is why I’m trying to warn you.” There’s a sincerity in his eyes. Enough that I don’t doubt that he thinks he’s being the white knight right now, but I don’t need or want it.
“I don’t need any warnings. I know who Cooper is. He’s not some guy I met at a bar.”
“Who are you right now? Because that? Out here with him? That’s not you. The Bea I knew—”
“The Bea you knew isn’t the Bea standing here now. She’s gone. No one stays the same forever, you of all people should know that.”
“That’s who you are now? Letting some guy finger fuck you in public?”
I hold my breath and bite my tongue for full seconds before I respond. I know it’s jealousy making him lash out. I don’t have the patience for it, but I also don’t want to stoop to his level.
“We were in a private backyard under covers. But yes. This is who I am now. Someone who enjoys things in the moment and doesn’t apologize for getting what she wants.”
“My brother,” he says bitterly.
“Yes. I want your brother. I enjoy every second I’m with him, and he makes me happy.”
“So what, you wanted him when we were together too?”
“I wanted you until you wanted me to be less. Then I found someone who wanted me exactly the way I am.” I shrug.
Rob makes a scoffing sound and shakes his head.
“He only wants more until he realizes where that ends. What you really want, and who he is? It doesn’t work. He’s not that guy, Bea. He’s the guy who leaves you in the morning and fucks the next girl that night. He sure as fuck won’t be able to deal with your family.”
“He’s already met my family, and he did just fine.”
Rob’s smile sharpens. “I’m sure your dad loved him.”
“My dad likes him well enough. Cooper did an apology tour that wasn’t his to make thanks to sharing your last name.”
I see Rob’s jaw tick, and he shakes his head, staring off into the distance.
