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If there was a magic pill, some concoction that would steal the connection with her from my soul, I wouldn’t press charges at them taking it. I would gladly be rid of her, so I could have the man I yearned for beside me every day for the rest of my life.
The bathroom door opened, and I slowly exhaled, recognizing that I needed space to figure shit out. Otherwise, I might become so tangled up that I experienced the fallout of someone else’s choices rather than ones I needed to make on my own.
Rolling to the edge of the bed, I kept my back to Drake while grabbing my briefs off the floor. “I’m going to go down to my room to shower and get clean clothes,” I whispered, surprised I hadn’t stumbled over a single word.
The bed dipped behind me, and warm, still-damp arms snagged my waist and pulled me back onto the bed. My traitorous body went willingly.
Drake sighed while tucking me against his chest. He nuzzled my neck then hair as I realized he was fond of doing. I kind of loved it too.
“Don’t leave me,” he whispered, squeezing me just a little tighter.
The exact types of words I feared. They sounded too much like manipulation.
Swallowing hard, I sank into his heat, the tension in my muscles leaking away regardless of how much my flight instincts screamed for me to leave before my truth and reality met in a head-on collision.
This had to be the end of us, but Drake would never understand. He’d always been strong, sure of himself and his actions, and having the chance, he would argue his case.
I didn’t have the mental capacity to fight with him.
I could barely make sense of the conflict in my heart let alone discuss or choose which way would lead to a sense of happiness I could live with. I didn’t believe having both of my heart’s desires was a possibility.
Distance between Drake and I wouldn’t be easy to ask for, let alone take. His body would coerce mine into giving him what he wanted, regardless of the ties that might wrench to the breaking point with Jacqueline.
The promise of her wrath, or at least, my expectation of it, turned my stomach.
Drake’s palm pressed over my heart, and thoughts quieting, I held my breath, waiting for him to question me.
“I make your heart race,” he murmured.
“You do,” I admitted, rather than admitting the truth of why my pulse thrummed in a not-so-good way.
“As much as I would love to coax my dick back to life and love on you again, we need to rest, baby.”
I hummed an agreement, my ass definitely on board with his suggestion to lay low.
“How about a cat nap then we can order room service?” Drake’s hot breath wafted over my neck.
A shiver rippled down my spine but from the truth of what I was going to do rather than want for his attention.
He sighed as though in heaven, and I lay still, knowing from years of living with him that he would drift into sleep quickly as though he hadn’t a care in the world.
Oh, to have the ability to turn off the mind like he did, not to worry about two opposing paths calling with the same intensity.
Within minutes, he breathed heavily, his steady exhales ghosting over my skin.
My throat tightened, and I gave myself a few extra seconds of soaking in his presence and comfort. All the fantasies, every daydream I’d had about my stepbrother, hadn’t been fulfilled, but the time fate had gifted us drew to an end.
That crossroads waited feet in front of me, and I needed space to clear my head so I could make the most informed decision and not choose with my emotions.
Skin ripped from my frame, and muscle tore from my bones as I slowly pulled from Drake’s embrace. Agony flared inside my guts, a searing burn that settled in my eyes.
I dressed in silence, not allowing myself to turn and take in his resting form that would be hazy from my tears. Enough memories etched in my mind from watching him sleep when we were younger. I didn’t need more, especially after having tasted the sweetness of his kiss, the release his body had brought mine.
Wishing things could be different, I made my choice for distance until I figured out what to do.
Same as Drake had done to me that night at our parent’s home in Tribeca, I walked away, well aware if he’d been awake, he would never have let me leave his side.
I had to stand on my own and find my strength for the decision I needed to make.
