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“That’s fair,” she said. “You like what you like, right?”
“How about you?” I asked.
She laughed. “You know the answer to that. I’ve had nothing but vanilla relationships. And I’m sure Celeste and Catherine were very clear about my lack of experience in the kink. They said it would make me more appealing because you liked training new girls.”
Our food arrived, and I waited until we’d taken our first few bites before I said, “I don’t think of it as training. I think of it as helping a woman discover who she is and what she wants.”
“Sorry,” she said, “I didn’t mean to insult you.”
“You didn’t,” I said. “When did you realize you had a praise kink?”
She thought it over as she ate a piece of lasagna and drank a sip of water. “Well, I’ve known for years that I craved approval from people, but I wasn’t certain it was also a sexual thing for me. I suspected it might be, so I worked up the courage to ask a previous boyfriend to call me a good girl in bed. He did, but it didn’t do anything for me. It felt fake, and it was obviously just a game to him. He didn’t understand that I wanted it to be real, and I didn’t know how to tell him without looking like a weirdo.”
I smiled a little. “You’re not a weirdo, Riley.”
“Anyway, then I took the test at the agency, and the sisters told me how high I’d charted on the praise kink. I wasn’t surprised by that, just surprised that it was considered a kink because I’d tried it in the bedroom, and it hadn’t turned me on. I guess that was pretty naive of me, though.”
“Learning to navigate a new-to-you kink can require help from an experienced partner,” I said.
“I guess. Anyway, I sought approval with past relationships, but after my failed bedroom experiment, I didn’t see that need for approval as a kink. Especially since I want approval from everyone and not just for a sexual release.”
She poked at her pasta. “Am I making any sense?”
“Yes,” I said.
Her gaze went hazy, and she spoke almost to herself. “But after my initial meeting with the sisters, where they assured me it was very much a sexual kink, I went home and watched so much porn with a dominant/submissive theme to it. While most of it was way too extreme for me, the ones where the woman received lots of verbal praise, as well as orgasms, for doing what she was told were the ones that did it for me - in a big way. I think I masturbated more that weekend than I had in my entire life.”
She lapsed into silence before suddenly glancing around the restaurant with a horrified look. “I should not be telling you this, especially not here.”
“I’m glad you told me,” I said. “It’ll help me improve our play sessions for you.”
She gave me a shy look. “I think they’re wonderful as they are.”
I smiled at her. “There’s always room for improvement.”
Fucking her in a play session until she screamed my name would be an improvement, I thought, but I didn’t say.
“How did you, um, discover you liked what you like?” she asked.
“I went to a sex club,” I said, keeping my voice pitched low as our server walked by. “I watched and participated in different sessions and learned pretty quickly that I was dominant, not submissive.”
“You did play scenes where you were the submissive?” she asked.
I nodded, and she stared at me like I’d grown a second head. “I can’t picture that. At all.”
I laughed. “I was young and experimenting and unsure what I wanted or needed. I just knew vanilla sex wasn’t enough for me.”
“Do you still go to the club?” she asked, then grimaced. “Sorry, is that too personal?”
“It isn’t, and no, I haven’t gone to the club in a while. The agency works better for my needs. It matches me with a partner who is exactly what I’m looking for, and I also wanted anonymity.”
“I guess we blew that out of the water,” she said with a wry grin.
“We did, but that was through no fault of our own.”
I could see the look on her face, the one that said, “He’s going to tell me again that we can’t play together anymore,” but I didn’t say anything. I knew continuing to play together was a mistake, but I couldn’t stand the idea of her playing with someone else. So, until I could convince her not to, I wouldn’t end our play sessions.
I glanced at my watch. “Finish up your lunch. We have one more errand to run before we return to work.”
