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9
Carrigan
Sliding the key card into my newly acquired hotel room door lock, I push inside and close the door behind me.
It’s done.
It’s over.
Dropping my purse to the sofa I fall down after it, my legs giving way as the bravado and adrenaline I’ve been running on all day starts to dissolve. The cushions are soft and almost warm to the touch beneath me, but I can barely focus on it as my body starts to convulse.
What did I do?
What the hell did I just do?
They’ll never forgive me, or maybe they will. Maybe my parents are as disgusted by everything as I have become.
No. That’s nothing but wishful thinking, because the truth is what I did today had to happen, but the fall out is going to destroy me, my parents, and maybe even Tallulah too. I just changed all of our lives, the same way that envelope full of papers did all those years ago.
A single tear slides from eyes, rolling down my cheek and falling to my knees. With shaking fingers I touch it, rubbing the moisture between my thumb and forefinger, focusing everything on the simple movement and hoping that it might hold me together.
I made this choice and it was the right one. The first right decision I’ve made in a really long time. Now I need to wash my face, get dressed, and go to my sister’s engagement party. I just hope that she gets at least a few happy moments with her fiancé before everything goes to hell.
* * *
Smoothing the fabric of my dress down, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the long mirrors that adorn the walls. My dress is black, floor length with cap sleeves, heavily beaded, and clinging to what little curves I have. It’s probably more suited to a funeral than a party, but the color black makes me feel powerful and I need all the confidence I can get right now.
The ballroom is full of people as I march through the doorway, eyeing the crowds from left to right searching for Tallulah or Arlo or even one of their friends, Watson, Oliver. Or Carson. But I can’t spot them and instead I find my mother. The moment she sees me she pushes her way through the crowd toward me, an expression of pure rage hardening her already cosmetically altered face until she appears to be almost like an angry porcelain doll.
Sighing as silently as I can muster, I school my expression, twisting my lips into an enigmatic smile, the one my mother helped me perfect. It feels almost poetic to be using the skills she helped me perfect against her now, although I doubt she’ll see the irony of it.
“Carrigan,” she snarls, as her fingers wrap tightly around my wrist, her nails digging into my skin just hard enough for her to exert some control.
“Mother,” I reply cordially. “You look lovely as always.”
“Where the hell have you been? What happened last night? The video wasn’t there.”
Inhaling slowly, I let my eyelids fall shut and try to consider who I’d be now if I’d just ignored them and refused to do all the fucked up things they’ve had me do since the will was read. Maybe if I had, I’d just be a normal teenager instead of the calculated, conniving bitch I am now.
“Carrigan,” Mom hisses, her nails digging further into my skin.
“Do you ever sit back and consider your actions?” I ask quietly.
“What?”
“Do you ever wonder who you’d be, who we’d all be if the money had just been left to grandfather like it should have been.”
“What are you talking about? Have you been drinking? Really, it’s completely unacceptable for you to put me in this position,” Mom chirps, her tone disapproving like I’m inconveniencing her.
“I haven’t been drinking mother.”
“Then I expect an explanation as to why you did not do as you were told last night?” she demands.
“You mean why didn’t I drug and rape my sister’s fiancé?” I ask a little too casually.
Her lips curl into a menacing smile and she tips her head slightly to the side. “Dear, how dramatic a description that is. All we’re doing is correcting a mistake, Arlo was always intended to be yours and yesterday you should have rectified that problem. Now where is the video?”
“There isn’t a video mother,” I say with a smirk. I know I shouldn’t be provoking her like this, but I just don’t seem to be able to help myself.
