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I know how Arlo and his friends feel about me. They think I’m evil, that I screwed my sister over, that I’m just like my parents. So asking one of them for this favor is more than likely going to result in him telling me to go and screw myself. But I had to try, and Carson was the only one I could imagine touching in that way.
“Okay.”
“What?” I exclaim, feeling my eyes widen.
“Okay, I’ll have sex with you, but I have some conditions,” Carson says, calm and collected.
“What kind of conditions?” I ask warily.
“I’m in charge. You do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it.”
I nod eagerly. “That’s fine, I have no idea what I’m doing anyway,” I say a little too quickly, feeling a blush fill my cheeks.
A sly smile crosses his lips and I wonder if I’ve said something wrong, but dismiss it when he starts to talk again.
“Are you on birth control?” he asks matter of factly.
“Yes, I have the implant, my doctor recommended it to regulate my periods,” I say, not sure why I’m spewing verbal diarrhea at him.
“Where? Let me see it,” he demands.
Lifting my shirt, I run my finger over the tiny scar and the raised lump that holds the implant.
“Good, then I don’t want to wear a condom. I’ve never taken a virgin before and I want to feel it. I’m clean, and I’ve never had sex without a condom before, I promise.”
“I’m clean too,” I say stupidly.
“I figured you would be, what with you being a virgin and all,” he laughs.
“Oh, yeah,” I say, embarrassment forcing me to look at anything but him.
“One more thing,” Carson says.
Forcing my eyes back to his, he waits until he knows he has my attention before he speaks. “One time only.”
Nodding I swallow down the nausea that fills my throat. I just negotiated losing my virginity with a boy I don’t know that well, who hates me. What the hell am I doing?
He nods, mimicking my action, before a smile tips at the corners of his lips. “Okay then, so when do you want to do this?”
“Now,” I say decisively. “The sooner we do this, the sooner I can break the will. It’s the engagement party tonight and after last night’s disaster with my parents losing their minds, and the fact that I’ve been ignoring their calls since I left with Tallulah and Arlo, we need to do this sooner rather than later.”
“So you want to have sex for the first time right now,” he says sardonically.
“I want this to be over,” I reply, locking my gaze with his. “I just want this to be over.”
Exhaling, the smile falls from his lips and he nods solemnly. “Okay, you stay here. I’ll go buy a video camera; cell phones are too easy to hack.”
I nod, because I really hadn’t thought this far ahead. When my cell rings I jump, startled, before pulling it free from my pocket and immediately rejecting the call when I see my sister’s name.
“Who was it?” Carson asks.
“Tallulah. I don’t want her to know about this until it’s over, okay? I left her a note saying you were helping me to break the will, but she never needs to know what you did to help me. No one ever needs to know.”
His stare is unblinking, his lips dipping down into a slight frown as he pulls his own cell out and turns it off, showing me the dark screen. “She won’t hear it from me,” he says coldly, turning on his heel and marching to the door. “The master bedroom is the second door, I want to find you in there waiting for me when I get back,” he orders, as he steps out onto the deck and disappears from view.
