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Fuck, I thought. This girl.
She really might be the death of me.
CHAPTER SEVEN
impenetrable
Faith
The ride back to 444 Hawthorne Drive was quiet but not uncomfortably so. Cassius put his hand on my thigh and kept it there the whole time. Having him touch me made me hot; thinking about what we’d done in his penthouse made me burn.
The past twenty-four hours had been all about Cassius Edward Blackwood.
Now, everything seemed to revolve around the mercurial billionaire. Sitting next to him, his hand on my thigh, was an event. Laughing with him, being held by him, having him by my side while I faced my mother… This was the happiest I’d ever been in my life.
That was dangerous, and I knew it.
I was happy. But it was all about to go up in smoke.
Focus on the positives, Faith.
Lucas was safe and would get the treatment he needed. I had a job and enough money to care for myself and my brother.
I’d seen my mother, and I hadn’t imploded—also because of Cassius. Because not only was he by my side, but I was also financially secure. She still made me angry, of course. But having the promise of my double-platinum money, in addition to my signing bonus and regular club earnings, made me feel stable for the first time in my life. For once, my mother couldn’t hurt me. Money gave me the power and security I’d never had as a child.
Another positive: I’d lost my virginity. Cassius Blackwood had awakened me to a new world of privilege, pleasure, and feelings. The sensations I’d experienced with him were unlike anything I’d ever felt, and they were more than I had ever hoped for.
I stole a glance at the billionaire, who was steering with one hand, his icy blue eyes hidden behind his dark designer sunglasses. He’d changed my life forever. Long after he’d touched me in the deepest, most hidden away parts of myself, he would stay with me. The memories of our time together would haunt me until my dying day.
But it was over now. Once we returned to Club 444, I’d be just another employee. Stripped of my platinum status, I’d be like any other girl getting banged by a patron. I’d be in the club tonight, probably straddling some unknown billionaire or getting bent over a banister. I shivered. I would enjoy both scenarios and probably plenty more if they were with Cassius.
But that wasn’t meant to be, and I had to accept it.
We reached Hawthorne Drive, the now-familiar mansions with manicured lawns rolling past. It was a lovely day, the sun shining high in the late afternoon sky. I was loose and languid from all the sex and the feel of Cassius’s protective hand on my thigh. I closed my eyes, relishing my feelings of safety, ease, and belonging. The billionaire had paid me for my virginity, but it was I who owed him a debt—of gratitude. Because not only had Cassius saved me financially, but he’d also opened up a part of my soul that I hadn’t known existed.
It was a part that yearned, hoped, and dreamed. He’d awakened a part of me that wanted things for myself. I’d never had that luxury before.
It was tragic that now I knew what I wanted, I could never have it. But I could be grateful for the feeling itself. I refused to regret my time with Cassius Blackwood.
We reached 444 Hawthorne Drive before I was ready. The same burly, ginger-haired security guard greeted us, immediately opening the gate. He didn’t glance inside the Bentley’s tinted windows as we passed. Cassius drove slowly down the long drive, the beautiful gardens and statues coming into view first, then the rose-gold mansion. I was lucky to return to such a lovely place, and I knew it. I was grateful to be earning so much money. Still, my heart twisted as we parked the car in the circular drive.
But I plastered a smile onto my face as I turned to Cassius. “Thank you so much for bringing me to see my brother. It meant a lot.”
“My pleasure.” Hidden behind his sunglasses, I couldn’t read his expression.
“And thank you for allowing me to come back.” I swallowed hard. “You won’t regret it, Sir. I promise.”
He nodded.
“Well, I guess I’ll go…” Suddenly, I felt like I might cry. I needed to get out of the car and away from him. I couldn’t bear his distance, how far away he seemed, even though he was right next to me. Only hours before, he’d been inside me. I’d sailed to new heights of physical pleasure as Cassius Blackwood had possessed me from within. But now it was time to say goodbye as if this had never happened. As if we were two strangers.
“Faith—you forgot this.” Cassius pulled my diamond V pendant from his pocket. The delicate stones twinkled in the sunlight. “You should keep it as a memento of our time together.”
I wished he’d take his sunglasses down. I thought I’d caught the undercurrent of emotion in his voice, but I couldn’t be sure.
I gratefully accepted the necklace. “Thank you, Sir. Will I see you at the club tonight?”
He nodded, his mood impenetrable. “You will.”
