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As bewildered as I am by what she’s saying, I’m surprised I didn’t put two and two together, that I blamed her mood swing on her rule.
“You disappeared,” she continues, “and I went to find you in your kitchen, and then I overheard my name. I don’t appreciate being talked about behind my back.”
“I thought we took care of this?” I counter. “I thought you had more faith in me and thought better of me. I already told you that I’m not in the habit of playing with my business associates to get what I want.”
“But your father said?—”
“Fuck what my father said.” I huff. “You know I want you to sell your shares to me. It’s not a secret. It’s never been a fucking secret.”
Jess vigorously rubs her face before running her fingers through her hair and tugging on her curls. “Fine. You’re right, of course you are. It’s not a secret why you’re here. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised.” She lowers her hand and looks up at me. “Sorry, I can’t keep doing this, Sean. All of this is becoming too complicated. I thought I could handle having a professional and romantic relationship with the same person, but it’s just not possible. So I’m removing myself from the equation. From now on, we’re strictly professional colleagues. Nothing more.”
This is ridiculous.
This cannot be happening over a simple phone call.
“Just like that?” I ask. “You’re going to break everything off and act like nothing happened?”
“I’m not saying ‘act like nothing happened.’ I’m saying I think we’ll work better if we’re just coworkers.”
“Fucking coworkers.” I chuckle. “Is that what you really want?” I ask in disbelief.
I notice the tears she’s holding back.
“Jess. Look me in the eye,” I say calmly, “and tell me this is really how you want things to be.”
When she looks at me, I note the tension in her body. The tightening of her jaw, the way her fingers dig into her elbows, how her entire body is just shut down and closed off. That’s what worries me more than what she’s saying because I’ve never known Jess to be anything other than open to me.
“Yes. This is what I want.” Her voice is hollow and emotionless.
I’m hearing what she’s saying, but I still can’t believe she’s saying it. I want to argue. I want to tell her how ridiculous she’s being, that she’s throwing something like this—us—away for absolutely no reason.
She removes the fake engagement ring, and when I don’t accept it, she places it next to the pancake box. “I’ll have it returned to the jeweler in the morning.”
“You’re making a huge mistake,” I say, unable to stop myself. “This isn’t what I want, and I highly doubt it’s what you want.”
“I’ve made my decision,” she reiterates.
“Good. I’m not going to argue with you. You want things to go back to how they were before? Fine. But don’t use my phone call as an excuse. We both know damn well why you’re doing this—it’s because you’re scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Of us.”
“You know, Sean, just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you know me. Truly know me. We’ve only spent a month together. Don’t stand there and presume you know my motives better than I do. You don’t really know me and, as you proved last night, I don’t really know you.”
“I know you’re smart. Courageous. Strong. Loyal. I know that you care about people, really honestly care about them. It’s one of the things that drew me to you. I know that I?—”
“Stop. It’s not important, Sean. I don’t want to know you anymore.”
There’s a moment of tense silence as we stand face to face, neither moving nor making any attempt to continue the conversation.
I know she’s making a substantial mistake. If she really doesn’t want us to be together, then she’s going to have to do a lot of convincing, because I don’t believe it for a second.
I’m not giving up.
I have to make her stay.
Just when I’m about to argue my strongest point, Norman’s old fax machine starts ringing, rattling through a piece of paper.
