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JESS
We drive into work together, stopping briefly at a coffee shop before continuing on our way. Over fresh coffee and bagels, and the satisfaction of a quick, hot elevator encounter (turned into sheer awesomeness), morning traffic is a breeze. The time passes with idle chit-chat and discussions about work, including the final transition points we need to hit.
I’m aware that our partnership as co-owners does have an expiration date: In one week exactly, they’re going to expect me to sell and join their organization, like Sean and I discussed early on.
By now, I have definitely warmed up to the idea, and I’m starting to feel excited at this new chapter in my life. In my continued position as a director, and with the backing of Blackwood Inc., I’m going to be able to take Westerlyn farther than I thought possible, and in a much shorter period of time.
Of course, I don’t know what that means in terms of me and Sean.
Already things are murky, given the circumstances and our habit of hanging around volcanoes each morning and every night, but I’m confident we can figure things out.
In the afternoon, Pauline pokes her head in.
“So what’s the deal with you two?”
I lean back in my seat, silently gesturing for her to close the door and sit. “We may not have a label, but well… I care about him.”
“Just care about him?” She takes a seat and crosses her legs. “Your face lights up when you two talk, and I’ve never seen you more comfortable with someone as you are with him. Are you sure there isn’t a little love peeking through?”
Love? That’s a big word and one I don’t throw around lightly.
After all, I thought I loved Richard and look where that got me. I haven’t known Sean for long, and I can’t say what I feel for him is love. At least I won’t say it, not now, not when we’re in this odd in-between—not quite only colleagues and almost like a real couple.
“Like I said,” I tell her, “I definitely care about him. I wouldn’t go as far as to say love.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Okay, maybe a bit of affection.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Okay, definitely deep infatuation…with the potential for…love.”
“Ah, the ‘L’ word! Finally.”
I mean, what isn’t there to love about Sean? He’s smart, successful, ambitious, and honest. Not to mention generous. All the traits any woman in my position would kill to have in a partner. He’s tough, sure, but there’s this underlying sweetness, a gentleness that I believe I’m one of the few who have been lucky enough to experience. That’s the part of him I’m most attracted to. The part that draws me in and keeps me coming back, because the longer we spend time together, the more he reveals that side of himself to me.
I may not be able to say that I fully, deeply, madly love him, but…sigh…okay, who am I kidding? It’s obvious that I’ve tripped and fallen headfirst into the deepest love pit there is.
Thing is, ever since the charity event, I’ve tried to convince myself that I haven’t, but I have.
“I know,” I say, “it’s way, way too early to be in love, I know! I can tell he likes me, sure, and he has said really sweet things to me, but whether he loves me—no, that’s not a thought I’m entertaining right now.”
“Do you want my opinion?”
“Of course I want your opinion. You found your soul mate years ago. If anyone knows anything about complicated relationships, it’s you.”
“Well, as the wise, old, married broad, he has to be in love with you.”
I seriously didn’t expect her to say that. “Why?”
“I don’t think he’d put his job and reputation on the line just for sex.”
“How do you know we have sex?”
“Girl. Don’t you?”
I shrug. “We do.”
