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Right, Da. The way I’m going, it’s certainly a possibility.
One thing I knew for sure. I had to get rid of the bug.
* * *
We haddinner in the dining room. Lucy and I ate in silence. Renato was out, working in his office at La Leonora. The vibrance of the AC strip felt a million miles away from the quiet peace of Casa Nera.
After a mostly silent dinner, I headed toward the library. Now that I’d decided to destroy the damn bug, I couldn’t wait to do it. It didn’t take back the fact that I’d planted it in the first place, but it would help my case once he found out. I knew in my heart that he would, sooner or later.
The library was still as I let myself in. The last time I’d ventured in here was the night before, when I’d been looking for a book to read, somehow figuring in my drunken state that it would help me sleep. I’d considered taking the bug then, but Giada had crashed in like a drunk baby elephant and I’d lost my moment. I hadn’t been sure, then. Now, after the chapel this morning, my mind was made up.
I stepped into the room and closed the door. A fire burned in the corner, illuminating the armchair and side table that sat across from it. That was where I’d foundThe Prince.
At the other end of the long room, the door was ajar to his office. Just like last time, I sneaked through the space into his study. Rounding the desk, I shoved my fingers into the potted plant and sorted through the lumps of soil. I had a moment of pure panic when I couldn’t find it, but then my fingers brushed the tiny, hard shape. I pulled it out and stared at it. Was I really doing this? Had I really decided to trust Renato?
Yes. Between him and the cops, he was the devil I knew.
I headed back to the library and crossed to the fire. At the fireplace, I held my hand over the flames and opened my fist. The bug fell into the fire, a slight popping sound signaling its demise.
It was gone.
It felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders, only to quickly be replaced by another.
I left the fireplace, adrenaline surging through me. Could I really trust him with my and Lucy’s safety? He’d killed two men who had disappointed him right in front of me. He valued loyalty above all else.
The time to come clean would have been when the police had first made contact and given me the bug. But I’d been angry and impulsive and made a mistake.Which I have now corrected, I tried to reassure myself as I grabbed a book from a shelf of English novels. I liked the library. It had such a cozy feel, I decided to stay there a little longer. Besides, my brain threatened to melt from too much trash TV. I was more than ready to get back to studying for my degree.
I sank down in the library chair. A sweater hung over the back that smelled like Renato. I pressed my face into the material and took a long inhale. Mm, that was the good stuff.
I must have dozed off there in the chair. When I woke, a big, tattooed hand liftedTess of the d’Urbervillesfrom my lap.
“Hardy doesn’t make for light reading,” Renato said quietly.
It was the third time today he’d surprised me with a sudden appearance, and the third time my heart had jumped to see him. I turned my face up to him. He was in black again, his face tight and unreadable. Whatever his business had been tonight, it had taken a toll on him. I thought of the chapel, when he’d admitted to how tired he was. He’d felt like a kindred spirit at that moment.
“Here, sit. I should go to bed,” I mumbled, half asleep. I stood and stepped past him.
He snagged my wrist before I could take two steps. “Stay.”
He sat and spread his legs slightly, pulling my attention to the hard-on pushing through his trousers. I blinked at it, wondering what the hell had caused that.
“You,bambina. Just you. The thought of you waiting for me at home.”
I hadn’t realized that I’d spoken out loud. He flexed his hips, and it seemed for a second like he might burst through the zipper.
I swallowed hard, desire kicking me in the stomach, hot and wet. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then I noticed a strange shine on Renato’s chest. I reached out hesitantly, and when he made no move to stop me, tugged his shirt to the side and took in the new inked tallies, covered by a clear wrap. Two lines had been added to his loss count.
A visceral flashback of the other night hit me, and the new dad, Paolo, dying on the ground. Renato had become human to me in that moment as he’d comforted his dying man. He had stopped being just a monster, a creature of darkness without feelings. He had feelings. He had honor. He had a code. He was just a man, and men could do terrible things to each other, but I would bet my life that this man would never do terrible things to me. I didn’t know where that conviction had come from, only that it was suddenly there inside me.
“Will you stay with me,anima mia?” My soul.
I nodded and took the book from him. He watched me closely, perhaps wondering where I was going to sit and what I was going to do. A sudden desire stole my breath, and I wanted to do it so badly, I couldn’t stop myself.
This morning had been all about me, all about my pleasure, and it had been a gift I'd never though I deserved to receive. I wanted to affect him like he affected me. I wanted to hold him by the balls and feel powerful for once. Not only that, but after the bug fiasco, I wanted to apologize, and there was no way I was confessing to it. I could apologize like this, without ever revealing why.
I handed him my book, opening it to a random page. “Read to me.”
He watched me over the book, his strong eyebrows pulled forward in a slight frown as I lingered at his knee, and then understanding dawning as I sank to my own.
