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My murmur sounded raw. “Every time we touch, it’s holy, and nothing you think or feel can change that. My perfect, perfect wife.”
I was born a sinner, and I’d die one. I’d long since given up hope of salvation, and yet coming inside my wife felt like a glimpse of Heaven. It was the closest I’d ever come, and it was enough for me.
23
CHARLIE
Iwoke from a dead sleep to the slightest pinch on my arm. The last few hours rushed back to me. The wedding, the reception, Renato cutting my finger and then bringing me upstairs. Coming so hard I’d seen stars. My body was warm and limp, wrung out by pleasure.
“You’re a heavy sleeper,bambina,” Renato murmured from my side.
I turned to look at him. The sight was absolutely terrifying. He was wearing a sterile glove and had a case of medical instruments set out on the bedside table.
“What are you doing?” I panicked.
“Nothing you didn’t already expect,” he said and dropped something into a metal dish. It landed with a clink.
I thought of that sharp prick that had woken me up, the pain just above my elbow. There was only one thing there.
“My birth control implant,” I guessed. “You removed it.”
“Of course I removed it.” He snapped off the glove and balled it up. He then wrapped a stretchy bandage around my upper arm, securing it just tight enough to seal the small incision he’d have made to remove the implant.
I’d removed enough of them to know the procedure well.
“You don’t need it anymore,” he continued.
That calmly delivered sentence was terrifying. He really planned on having children with me.With me.Nobody in their lives had ever shown me that level of commitment.
Commitment?He just married you, just made his men bow to you. What kind of commitment are you looking for?I had no answer for that.
“You didn’t think a medical professional should remove it? Or maybe you were too worried what they’d say about removing an implant from an unconscious woman?” Going on the defensive seemed the safest bet right now, when my body was still warm from his touch and my mind had softened toward the man who held my future in the palm of his hand.
Renato stood and leaned over me, smoothing the bandage and inspecting his handiwork. He was precise in all things, whether that was shooting someone perfectly between the eyes or carrying out minor medical procedures.
“Firstly, I didn’t ask a medical professional because no one but me will ever hurt you. I promise you that.”
“That is not as reassuring as you seem to think it is!” I interjected, prompting Renato to press a silencing finger against my lips.
“Secondly, you are no longer just some unconscious woman. You’re my wife.”
I twisted my head from his hand, electricity brewing in the pit of my belly. “Stop saying it like that.”
“Like what? Wife? You’re my wife,bambina. I think it has a nice ring to it.”
I swallowed my nerves and confusion. My arm didn’t hurt. He’d clearly injected me with local anesthetic. He moved around the bed toward the bathroom. I should hit him, or fight somehow, but my body was too languid to make the effort. He hadn’t even drugged me, just worn me out with sex and the longest, most emotional day of my life.
I stared at the bandage on my arm. I’d known this would happen, hadn’t I? He’d been clear that he needed an heir. It was literally his goal, and he made no secret of it. But Ididhave a secret.
My implant had been coming to an end, and one of the doctors on rotation encouraged me to sign up for a clinical trial testing a new birth control shot. The shot was good for three months, and I'd just gotten it a few weeks ago. So, while I hadn’t gotten around to taking out my old implant, I should be protected for another couple of months.
Still, my new husband was clearly serious about getting me pregnant as quickly as he could. It should scare me more than it did. Maybe my fear sensors were just burned out. Too much adrenaline had made me immune. I was numb. But I didn’t feel numb as I watched Renato head to the shower, pausing in the doorway to look back at me.
“You’re very calm about this,” he observed.
Crap.
I shrugged. “You warned me. Death, or marriage and kids with you. I chose you.”
