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Maybe it was the nurse in me, but understanding the mechanics of stimulating certain areas with high nerve density and why it was pleasurable really took the fun out of things. Either that, or the patina of shame that coated my skin at a stranger’s touch – shame instilled in me at Mercy House – was simply too thick to wash off.
And yet, as Renato ran his thumb over my lips, he might as well have been touching my clit for how good it felt. I remembered the heat inside me when half his fist had invaded my mouth. I’d never been as wet as I’d been with his fingers in my mouth, controlling my ability to speak. Shame flooded me at the memory.
“You tell me to let it go, and I don’t have to worry about paying the bills. Do you think seriously that’ll comfort me? A woman who has worked her entire life to be independent and free? You think I’ve just been waiting for a man like you to come along and save me?”
“I told you already that I’m no white knight, Charlotte. I’m the villain in your story, and no one is coming to cut you free from the belly of this beast. No one.”
His finger still touched my lips, and impulsively I opened my mouth and rested my teeth on it, debating the wisdom of biting him. There was no glove there to stop me now.
“I wouldn’t, if you value being able to sit this week.”
His warning sent heat curling through me. What was he warning me about,really?
“I’m a heavy-handed disciplinarian,” he added, a slight smirk curving his lips as he took in my flustered expression. Just the thought had me squirming, and from the satisfied look on his arrogant face, he knew it.
“Fight it all you want, but we both know it’s true. I own you, and your sister, and I can do whatever I want with you. I didn’t have to let you live. If you understood how unlike me that was, you would be getting down on your knees and opening this smart mouth for something else entirely.”
His thumb sat between my teeth, confident that I wouldn’t draw blood.
“Next time I hear an outburst like today’s, that’s what I’ll expect. Soon, by your own agreement, you will be my wife, and this won’t be a sham marriage. I want more than that from you.”
I released his finger, silently acknowledging that I was bluffing.
“How much more?” I asked in a whisper, panic building as he leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine. I could smell him. Leather, amber and vetiver, with a hint of clean, male sweat. My body hummed at the scent.
He ran his nose down my cheek. He wasn’t even holding me in place now; my own body was doing it for him. I couldn’t have run away if I tried. I was spellbound. My brain wasn’t in the driving seat anymore, my body was, and it wanted to be touched by this man. That was the sobering truth I couldn’t deny. The call was coming from inside the house. Who needed enemies when your own body was hot for your captor? The shame of my reaction was crippling.
Renato’s gaze tracked across my face, seeming to recognize the conflict there. He saw my resistance, and he also saw my want. I couldn’t hide anything from him. I’d never felt so vulnerable. His lips ticked upward, making him blindingly handsome for a moment, and his lips brushed over mine.
“Everything.”
His whisper sent a gale of heat billowing through me, and when he captured my mouth in a hot kiss, sliding his tongue between my lips, I lost all ability to think.
For me, kisses after a date were dry cheek pecks. Real kissing was to be done in bed behind a locked door, with the lights off, followed by a shower.Wash away your sins.It wasn’t in full view of anyone who might walk past, in the hall, right after breakfast. The same heat that had fogged up my brain in the bathroom at La Leonora hit me, and I couldn’t help but melt. After all, what was the point in fighting it? I’d given him my word, and now, he could take what he wanted from me. I shouldn’t have felt so excited by that.
His lips moved against mine, his tongue hot and wet and obscene in its languid thrusts. He kissed me like he was fucking my mouth with his tongue. The pleasure was intense; it was ungodly. The indoctrination of my youth played on an endless loop in my head. I’d tried time and again to push it out, living my life like other young women my age, but I’d never quite managed it. Even the ones who went to church regularly had happy, functioning premarital relationships, without the shame and guilt that dogged me. I envied them. Another sin to add to the list of my transgressions.
Renato tugged my bottom lip between his teeth and bit down. I moaned, heat radiating through me in waves. I rocked my body against his. I couldn’t help it; an instinct I had no control over was tugging at my strings. I was lost. Powerless. Out of control.Free.
An involuntary moan left me when he pulled back and cool air danced across my overheated skin. I could feel his smug satisfaction at how I’d lost myself to his touch. I was depraved. I was shameless. I was wet as hell.
“You have one thing wrong,” I panted, attempting to claw back a shred of dignity to hold before me like a shield. “When all this started, I never agreed to marry you,” I bit out.
“No, you didn’t. You agreed to worship me. To pray to me. To follow my every command.” He brushed my stray hairs away from my flushed forehead.
I still had on yesterday's makeup, and I hadn't washed my hair this morning. I had to be a shiny mess, so why was he watching me with such hunger?
“Think of yourself as a sacrificial bride for the Devil, if it makes you feel better…Trussed up in white silk, captive in my kingdom, mine for the rest of time.”
I had no response for that. I only stared at him, aghast.
He brushed another kiss onto my lips, sending heat curling through me.
“You promised me your soul. Don’t forget that. I’ll settle for your hand and a couple of heirs. Now, go upstairs and see your sister, before I decide to drag you to our room and start making our firstborn.”
* * *
When I got backto the hallway outside our room, heat throbbing in my face, my body traitorously warm and needy, a loud smash met my ears, just as Vinny, the guard outside the door, spoke into a discreet radio clipped to his shoulder. A piercing scream filled the air, muffled by the heavy wall and thick door, but unmistakable. Both me and Vinny turned and stared at the wooden surface.
