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CHAPTER 17
XANDER
Xander downed a glass of bourbon all too quickly. His throat burned, which felt good. Any sensation that wasn’t loss felt good.
“You look cheery.”
Xander jerked his head up to see his brother. It was no surprise that Niko had found him here, on the same balcony where Xander had confronted him the night before his wedding.
“I feel cheery.” Xander poured another glass and toasted Niko before draining it.
“Did you enjoy the honeymoon?” Niko asked, crossing to stand beside him.
“Did you enjoy plotting and not letting me in on it?” Xander retorted. “Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to marry Maisy? You could have saved us all a lot of pain.”
“Thanks. I haven’t heard all that from our parents all week.” Niko leaned against the railing beside Xander, who handed him the bourbon glass. Niko took a long swig. “But I really am sorry, Xander. I know I hurt you — and Maisy — most of all. I should have told you what I was planning. I was just worried that you wouldn’t let me go through with the planned jilting.”
“Which I didn’t, even though you didn’t tell me.” Xander sighed. “I know I made a mistake, too. I shouldn’t have masqueraded as you during the wedding.”
“What were you thinking?” Niko shook his head.
“I was genuinely trying to help you and Maisy.” Xander took the bourbon glass back, refilled it, and took another long drink. “Seriously, though, why didn’t you want to marry her? And why are you suddenly on board with marrying her now?”
“I’m on board with marrying her now because of you and Maisy. Our dear parents explained what a terrible position I’d be putting the two of you in if I didn’t make things right — you’d have to reveal everything, and both you and Maisy would look like fools or liars in front of the Aenicean public.”
“That’s… well, that’s dutiful of you. But you still didn’t explain why you didn’t want to marry Maisy in the first place. She’s gorgeous, funny, insightful — she’s everything you could want in a queen.” Xander bit his lip. He hoped he hadn’t gone too far with his compliments of Maisy. Despite everything, he didn’t want his brother to know how deeply his feelings for her went.
“She is.” Niko took the glass back. “But I don’t love her.”
“Since when is love so important for you?” Xander asked. “You’ve always seemed so practical and pragmatic. All the decisions you make seem to be in favor of your country, not in your own interest. What’s different about this?”
“Because I love someone else, okay?” Niko threw his hands up in frustration and spilled a little bourbon over the railing with the strength of his gesture. “I love someone else.”
“What?” Xander blinked in surprise. “Who?”
“Her name is Agnes.” Niko sighed deeply. “She’s a kindergarten teacher. She has the most gorgeous dark brown eyes, and a laugh that lights up the world. She’s kind of the opposite of me, but we’re perfect together. She’s the woman I want to marry.”
“And Agnes is okay with you marrying another woman?”
“She is.” Niko sighed again. “I told her that I wasn’t going to marry Maisy, and she was thrilled that we could be together. We spent the day that was supposed to be my wedding day together, in her apartment, giddy with relief and excitement about our future. But then I found out about the wedding mess. Agnes and I talked for hours and she insisted that I do the right thing and marry Maisy, no matter how much it hurt us both.”
Xander was reminded of Maisy telling him that they should leave their love behind on the island. He’d assumed that it was because she didn’t want to be with him. But maybe dutiful Maisy had just been trying to do the right, if heartbreaking, thing, like Agnes had and like Niko was doing now. The world seemed to tilt. Had he read Maisy so completely incorrectly?
“Bro.” Niko waved a hand in front of Xander’s face. “I’m kind of opening my heart to you here, and you’re spacing out.”
“I’m sorry.” Xander turned to his brother. “I was thinking about something else. Someone else.”
“Someone else?” Niko raised his eyebrows. “Did one of your flings turn into something more serious? Am I not the only brother in love?”
Love. Xander hadn’t let himself even think that word. During their night and day together, Xander had forced himself to enjoy each moment as it was without imagining a future or examining his feelings too closely. And after Maisy had told him that they shouldn’t be together, Xander had locked his emotions down even more. But now, if it was possible that she had just been trying to be dutiful… if there was a chance she could feel the same way about him…
“Yes.” Xander raised his chin. He wasn’t going to hide any longer. “I’m in love, too.”
“With whom?”
Xander would usually have taken a moment to make fun of his brother’s impeccable grammar, but this moment was too serious. This was his one chance to make things right and to maybe, just maybe, have a future with Maisy. It was now or never.
“Honestly, that’s where it gets a little tricky. I’m in love… with Maisy.”
