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“Why, Kuana?” My voice quivered, barely louder than a whisper. “Why did you run? Why didn’t you at least let me know that you were alive? Was it because… because you didn’t love me anymore?”
The hurt, laced with desperation, in my voice seemed to slice through him.
He looked taken aback, his violet eyes shimmering with an intensity that I hadn’t seen in a long time.
“I could never do that,” he breathed out, his voice cracking slightly. “I could never stop loving you, Vi. I hope you know that.”
I swallowed hard, struggling to keep the tears at bay. “Then why? Why disappear? Why let me mourn you, think you were gone forever?”
He took a deep breath, and for a moment, it seemed as though the weight of a thousand stars pressed down on his shoulders. “Because it was safer for you that way.”
I stared at him, trying to decipher the meaning behind his words. “What do you mean?”
“You remember how I used to be, Vi,” he began slowly. “I was… hard, fierce. A force to be reckoned with. There wasn’t a prisoner here who wouldn’t tremble at my gaze. I could dominate, intimidate, rule.” He let out a long, weary sigh. “But that was a part of me that I had hoped you’d never have to see.”
“You were the strongest person I knew,” I countered. “You could face any challenge head-on. The Kuana I knew wasn’t afraid of anything. The Kuana I loved could stare down any adversary and emerge victorious.”
He closed his eyes, as if trying to ward off painful memories. “That’s the problem, Violet. The jungle colony moon, the mission… it changed me. What I saw, what I discovered, it wasn’t just about knowledge or espionage. It was about facing the darkest parts of myself.”
He opened his eyes, and the vulnerability I saw in them was heart-wrenching. “The part of me that could dominate, that could instill fear — I had to summon it, channel it, in ways that I never had before. And I hated it. I despised what I was capable of.”
My heart ached for him.
I reached out, touching his cheek.
The sensation of his scales under my fingers was both familiar and foreign. “Kuana,” I murmured, “you faced your demons. But why not come back to me? Why not let me help you heal?”
“Because I feared,” he admitted, his voice barely audible. “Feared that I might hurt you. That the darkness in me might consume the love we had. That in trying to protect you, I might end up being the one from whom you needed protection.”
A tear slid down my cheek, and I pulled him into a tight embrace. “I’ve always believed in you, Kuana. In us. And I still do.”
He held me close, his breathing ragged. “Every day, every moment I spent away from you, I was tormented by my choices. But I hoped it was for the best.”
We stayed like that for a while, taking solace in each other’s presence.
A myriad of emotions coursed through me — anger, pain, relief, love — but above all, understanding.
Finally, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes, I asked softly”
“Do you really believe that you can’t face the world outside? That you can’t be with me?”
He looked deep into my eyes, searching for something, before answering. “The fierce, dominant part of me, the part that once ruled this prison, it’s still there, Vi. Deep inside.”
I nodded, understanding the depth of his confession, the gravity of his fears. “And?”
He sighed, a hint of sadness clouding his eyes. “I hope,” he whispered, “that I never have to see that part of myself ever again.”
The weight of his words hung heavily between us, but in that moment, I made a silent vow to myself.
I would stand by Kuana, no matter the cost, and together we would find a way to heal, to move forward, and to reclaim the love we once shared.
* * *
For hours, we lay in relative silence, the only sounds being the rhythmic hum of the prison’s ventilation system and the soft beating of our hearts in close proximity.
The dim light from the cell’s single window created dappled patterns on Kuana’s scales, shimmering as if they reflected faint starlight.
I traced patterns over his scales, feeling the minute ridges and valleys.
