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I chewed on my bottom lip, aware of the gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach that I was getting into something far more potent and powerful than the usual lust I felt toward the other fighters.
Yes, some of them were physically powerful and yes, I was attracted to them. I was stuck in this situation and figured I might as well make the most of it. It was never something I would choose for myself.
Trayem was the only prisoner I would choose to be with.
I peered across at his sleeping form.
Could I be…?
No. It was crazy. Of course I wasn’t.
This wasn’t the kind of place you fell in love.
Especially not with the first rule Lily shared with me all those years ago.
You do not fall in love with the prisoners.
You do not allow yourself to depend on someone here because they will never fail to disappoint you.
Prisoners choose us, use us, and then toss us aside and move on to the next Prize.
That’s what they do.
It was lust, nothing more.
Then why did I think about Trayem every minute of every day?
Why did thinking of him claiming one of the other Prizes leave a sour taste in my mouth?
Why would I have scratched their eyes out if they ever got between me and Trayem?
I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that I never thought that way with the other prisoners. There had been others I liked meeting and shared every sordid detail of my night with them with the girls later, and the kind of fun they could expect when they got to his cell…
But jealousy?
No. I was only glad I could alleviate my friends’ concerns when they’d been chosen by a new prisoner who they’d never been with before.
I ran a finger over Trayem’s sleeping face and gorgeous square chin.
There was something special about him, all right.
I eased myself up onto my arm and peered more closely at him, watching as he slept. He could have been the most interesting creature in the entire galaxy, a multitude of spiraling inconsistencies and complexities and if I was honest with myself, did I really think I understood them at all?
No. I didn’t know the first thing about this creature lying in bed beside me.
He was a mystery.
But I knew I’d fallen for him.
Please don’t hurt me, I thought idly. My heart is big but it’s weak.
Trayem’s eyes opened and the first thing he saw in the new day was me.
I liked the idea of that.
“Morning,” he said.
“Good morning.”
