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“Jude.” Once he was on a mission, nothing could stop him, so I didn’t know why I was trying.
“We ran into each other on Monday after twenty fucking years. I only found out today the reason he broke up with me was because my mother blackmailed him. Gave him money he needed for his mom’s cancer treatment for breaking up with me and never seeing me again.”
“He didn’t need to know that.” I frowned.
Judah shrugged. “It’s the truth. He wants to know what happened, and I told him. Mom is the reason we broke up, isn’t she?”
Ellis glanced down at his food awkwardly, knocking his chicken with the back of his fork. “Parents can be really shitty sometimes. Mine are.”
“Sometimes?” Judah snorted, and I kicked his leg under the table. “Ow! What was that for?”
I rolled my eyes. One thing was for sure and that was Judah didn’t have much experience with kids, especially teenagers.
The door to the kitchen swung open and Lisa huffed. “Have some compassion.” She dusted her palms on her apron and came striding toward Ellis. She grabbed him and hauled him into a hug even though he was still seated. He let out a yelp but went without a fight as she pressed his head to her stomach in a comforting hold. “There, there, hush child. Not all parents are horrible. I’m sorry you were saddled with terrible people.”
Ellis leaned against her even more and closed his eyes, a peaceful bliss falling across his face, and I couldn’t help but smile. He needed that hug more than anyone. Ellis and I never had a lot of personal contact, partly due to where we lived, but also because I hadn’t hugged anyone since Mum died. As I watched him clutch at Lisa desperately, a couple of tears wended their way from the corners of his eyes. I wondered if I’d done wrong by keeping my distance in that regard.
“Do you cook?” she asked Ellis.
He shook his head. “No, ma’am. I don’t know how. My mom didn’t think that I should learn.”
She tutted and stepped away before clasping his hand and dragging him to his feet. “Come help me. I’m making dessert. I can teach you some skills.” She led him toward the kitchen, and I watched, my chest aching as I wondered if I’d failed to be what he needed me to be.
“You’re thinking too hard,” Judah murmured, startling me out of my thoughts.
I looked at him and swallowed as I grabbed the beer that Lisa had brought out with our food. I took a long sip and winced. I’d never been a huge fan of American piss water beers, and I’d always drunk the Scottish beer my dad had let me try before he’d died. Bonnybridge Ale wasn’t easy to find, but there were a couple of shops around New Gothenburg that sold it.
“What’s wrong?” He brushed a fingertip over my wrist and along the length of my bracelet, and I paused, closing my eyes to enjoy his touch.
I sighed. “I’m tryin’ my best, but I feel like I’ve failed Ellis, too.” I glanced at him again. “He’s been livin’ in a shitty trailer with one bed, and I haven’t been providin’ much for him, have I? He’s basically just a scared bairn, and all I can give him are the bare basics.”
Judah raised my hand to his lips and laid a kiss on it. “He’s young, but he’s an adult. You give him freedom to be himself.”
“I don’t, though.” I rubbed a hand over my head. “Lakeview has a set of unwritten rules. We all know what they are, and one of them is no gay stuff. He can’t be who he is there. He’s gone from one prison to another, and I’m not helpin’ him, not really, but I don’t know what else to do.”
“Stay here.”
“Judah—”
He bit at my knuckles hard, and I gasped at the spike of pain that traveled up my arm. “Don’t Judah me. You only Judah me when you want to protest, so don’t fucking do it. Even if it’s for a little while, Tav. You can keep your trailer for now but stay here. It’s safer for you both.”
“Until your mum gets back.” I snorted at the thought of her coming in like a hurricane, destroying everything in her path, me and Judah’s relationship being her main target.
“Forget about her for one second.” The frustration leaked from his words and his hold on me tightened. “She has no power over me anymore. I’m an adult. What she wants doesn’t matter.”
If only it was that easy. Judah had always lived in a fantasyland when it came to us, even back when we’d started dating. Judah hadn’t seen the way she’d stared at me with an obvious disgust over my existence in his life. And Judah, for all his confident speeches, had always loved her. She was a powerhouse in the business world, and he respected her. How long would it take before she made him believe her venomous words?
I pushed aside the thought. I didn’t want to imagine how easily she could rip Judah away from me now that I had him back. It’d only been a few days, but my heart had reattached itself to him in a way that should absolutely bloody terrify me. It was as though we’d never been apart in the first place.
I had the sense to know that diving into the deep end of this relationship was going to get me hurt, yet I still jumped in headfirst despite the consequences.
“Okay,” I murmured, tilting my body toward him so we could kiss gently. “For a little while.”
He nipped my wrist again, and I laughed, using my free hand to scoop up more soup with the spoon. We settled in to eat more while Ellis was in the kitchen with Lisa, and when we were finished, we helped Lisa clean up.
Dessert was just as delicious, with a range of cakes and ice cream, and by the time I was done eating, my stomach extended outward and I felt like I weighed a ton. I hadn’t eaten so well in years, and I was already calculating what exercises I’d need to do to burn it off again. At the trailer park, I’d made my own version of weights, but Judah had a gym at the back of the house, which would make the entire thing a lot easier.
“I need to go do my homework,” Ellis said after we’d once again helped Lisa clean. He stretched and yawned. “This was fucking delicious.”
