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“I’m not sure I should tell you.” He was so quiet and unlike himself that an awful sensation slithered through me. Something was wrong. Something had been wrong then, and I only knew about it now.
“Did something happen to you?” I tugged him closer. I would fucking kill anyone who’d hurt him.
“My mum was sick,” he said quietly, which was confusing after what he’d been talking about.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You couldn’t’ve done a thing. Plus, you loved her, too. Why make you sad before you needed to be?” he said thickly.
My mind spun. “I could’ve.... She couldn’t work, right? That’s why she left? I could’ve given you money,” I said, nuzzling my cheek against the top of his head.
“How?” he asked, and there was a bitterness in the word I didn’t understand.
“Okay, so back then I couldn’t have, but my parents liked your mom. They like you. They would’ve helped.” I pecked a kiss on his temple.
I wasn’t prepared for the way he shot out of my arms, but I missed him immediately.
“Did they like me?” he asked, and his Scottish brogue punched through his words. “You know, your mum did give me money for Ma.”
I reached for his hand. He tugged away, but when I firmly grasped it, he squeezed back so tightly it hurt. “Then why?—”
“She made me sign a contract for it. The money for Mum’s treatment, if I never saw you again. Never dragged you down to my level.”
My head spun with the information. That couldn’t be right. But Tav looked convinced, and one thing he’d never done was lie. I fumbled my phone out of my pocket and brought up my contacts.
“What are you doin’?” he asked.
“Telling an old woman to go fuck herself,” I muttered.
8
TAV
I grasped his wrist before he could bring his thumb down on his mum’s contact name. My heart hammered, thumping against my ribs until it nearly became difficult to breathe. When he glanced up at me in surprise, I shook my head with a sad smile.
“What?” His eyebrows dipped in irritation, and I took a short moment to appreciate the crease of his forehead. Despite the years that had vanished between us, he was still as handsome as the day I’d left him. Aye, he looked older, but if anything, he’d grown into his square jaw and the deep grooves of his eye sockets.
“Don’t do that.” I stroked my thumb over the pulse point on his wrist, the warmth of his skin searing mine. I missed this.
He frowned and dropped his phone onto the floor beside him. “Why not? She’s the reason you left me, and I deserve answers.”
He had a point. Of course he did. If I were him, I would be mad, too, which was why I’d kept it from him for so long. I snuggled into him farther and sighed. There weren’t too many men who could make me feel safe, wrapped in arms bigger than my own, but he managed to do that perfectly. “She’s your mum, Judah. I’ve already lost mine, I don’t want you to lose yours, too.”
“If she was my mom, she would’ve wanted to see me happy.” His hold tightened on me and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. I inhaled the smell of his sweat from our fucking and smiled. I could die right now and be completely happy. “This was a power play. She was looking out for her own image and future, not mine. I should’ve guessed it was her. Fuck. Was I really that stupid?”
“Judah—”
He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away so he could stare directly at me. I had no choice but to let him, even though it felt like he was digging into the deepest recesses of my soul, where he’d find the pain I’d buried. “No. Don’t make excuses for her. She blackmailed you. She offered you something she knew you couldn’t refuse. I shouldn’t be surprised. She’s always been manipulative like that.”
“I’d never bloody make excuses for her. She doesn’t deserve that from me, but this isn’t about her, is it?” I palmed his right cheek, stroking my thumb across his smooth skin. Part of me wished I hadn’t said a thing, but I was also glad it was out in the open. He knew the truth. I’d half expected him to still be mad at me, because I’d chosen my mum over our relationship, but he seemed more furious at his mother. “This is about you. I do care about you, and I’d never forgive myself if you had a fallin’ out with your mum. We only get one, and I lost mine. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”
He shook his head, clearly not agreeing with anything I’d said.
“Aren’t you still mad at me?”
My question made him still. He blinked his brown eyes at me and swallowed, his Adam’s apple jumping in his throat. My gaze darted down to his neck, saliva gathering in my mouth for a taste of him, even though we’d just fucked. It’d been twenty years since we’d touched before yesterday, and I’d craved this the entire time. Craved him.
“Why would I be?” he finally asked, warmth settling into his eyes.
