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6
TAV
My wrist was bare, and it was the first time since Judah had given me the bracelet that the weight of it wasn’t there to remind me of our history together. I’d expected a lot of things from him—his hatred and venom were predictable feelings—but I’d never thought he’d rip the only physical memory I had left of him from me.
I stared down at my wrist, my heart clenching like it had all those years ago when I’d run away from him. The emotions bit at the corners of my eyes with stinging tears. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. It might’ve been at Mum’s bedside when she’d finally passed with her last painful breath. This felt even worse, though, a figurative knife that dug deep into my sternum.
I clenched my fists on the steering wheel of the hunk of metal that I called my truck and pressed my forehead to it. My hands shook, but not as much as the world around me. With that bracelet, I could get through anything life threw at me, but now I was without my armor in a world full of bullets. He’d taken the only protection I had.
It had been a reminder that someone, somewhere loved me.
Fuck. I slapped my palm against the wheel, blinking the tears from the cages of my lashes and letting them trail down my face. He’d left me weak, and he didn’t even know it. Probably wouldn’t’ve cared, either. I’d understood his anger, respected it because I’d shattered his heart, but now he’d taken a cruel path.
A knock on the window had me stiffening, and I turned my head away from the boy outside, quickly wiping the tears before I shot Ellis a smile. I’d managed to make it to the trailer park before the reality of what Judah had done hit me, and I hadn’t realized it was after three. I hadn’t checked the time and didn’t know how long Judah and I had been at the track.
The truck was old enough that I had to roll down the window manually, and I smiled at him. “You okay, kid?”
He stared at me carefully, a studious expression on his face. He tilted his chin up and pressed his lips together. “Are you okay? You’ve been sitting here for a while.”
Had I? I glanced around the truck. I’d parked in the designated spot near my trailer. There were a few people going about their day, hanging their washing on the thin lines they’d found their own ways to create if they couldn’t afford the machines. A few were having a chat with each other.
To my left, Lawson Murphy was walking down the dirt path for cars, his hand clutched tightly on his mother’s elbow. His dyed white hair with dark roots gave him a punk appearance, but his face was obviously inherited from his mother. His eyes were the starkest blue I’d ever seen, and he had a few piercings—one in each ear with silver dangly chains and a curved ring through the bottom part of his nose. Black lined tattoos weaved their way down his left arm and there was an array of designs—barbwire, a rose, and a bird. Admittedly, I’d always thought, given the chance, he could be friends with Ellis because they had similarities in their style choices.
His mother said something to him, and he lowered his head, whispering back. A silver chain swung out from the collar of his shirt, but I wasn’t close enough to see what was on it. Denise Murphy had dementia, and while she had good days, most were bad, but as she raised her gaze to me and grinned, I was glad to find this was one of the former.
She waved. “Hello, Tavish dear.”
Lawson, or Law as we called him, gave me a curt nod, too, a small smile curving his tightened lips. He was far too young to have the responsibility for his mother’s health on his shoulders, but they had no one else. Law had a twin brother we called Murph, but he was a reject who couldn’t help himself, let alone their mother.
Denise had been here before I moved in, and she’d been pregnant with the twins when I’d arrived. She was the first and only person to come over to greet me and give me the rundown of Lakeview Trailer Park, and in a lot of ways, she became a bit of a sister to me. She was an older woman, who had Law and Murph in her late thirties, but was still young to have dementia. It was heartbreaking to see her struggle with the reality around her.
She was one of the only people who knew everything about my past with Judah, because at nineteen and fresh to the park with my very sick Mum at my side, I’d needed an ear, and she’d offered hers. She’d always been that kind of person, taking care of us when no one else would.
I wound up the window, then pushed my door open and slid out of the truck. With a smile at Ellis, I shut the door and walked over to Denise. It was rare to see one of her good days and I wanted to enjoy it. I offered her a hug, and she took it immediately, tugging me against her shoulder like a sibling would and smoothing a hand down the back of my head.
“You’re okay,” she hummed. Such a typical motherly person. It was clear she could tell something was wrong, and I leaned farther into her embrace even though she was so much shorter.
I sighed. “I’m glad to see you, Denise.”
I saw her regularly, but we both knew what I meant. Her mind was sharp today and it was her.
She glanced at her son. “Law, take Tav’s young man for a walk around the park.”
Law blinked in surprise, glancing from Ellis, who stood behind me, back to his mother. The concerned expression created a deep dimple in his chin, and he picked nervously at the black paint on his fingernails. “Mom?—”
“Please, dear?” She gave him a pointed look, and he sighed.
Nodding, he gestured for Ellis to follow him, and I watched them go. Denise stumbled closer, and I took her hand, guiding her to the lawn chairs at the front of my trailer. I helped her sit before taking my own seat.
“Tell me everything.”
I shouldn’t’ve. Law deserved to spend time with his mum while she was having a lucid moment. I hesitated, and she tapped me on the nose.
“No. Tell me.”
I grinned despite myself and did as she’d ordered. I told her about running into Judah, how he’d told me to take the job as a driver, and even about the sex and him ripping the shell bracelet off my wrist.
“It was mine,” I whispered, teeth clenching. “He gave it to me. He doesn’t get to take it back.”
