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“What’s your problem?” he asked quietly with an infuriatingly calm expression.
“What were you laughing about with that asshole at the expo?” I jabbed a finger at him, but he was too far away to connect with his muscled chest. Fuck, did he lift?
He studied me and both of his eyebrows shot up. He bit the corner of his mouth, then shook his head. “I laugh easy enough. Why do you care?”
Twenty fucking years I’d been wondering what I’d done wrong with him.
About every six months I would find some reason to drag the memories out of the cobwebs and go over them with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s in my lap like a cheap PI from a bad film noir piece. I never went so far as to pull my shoebox full of pictures out of the fucking closet, but I didn’t have to do that. I knew what each and every photo looked like anyway. They were all tattooed on my brain and refused to fade with time.
Stepping in, I snagged his cheeks and crashed my lips against his. I was so fucking mad at this man. I bit his bottom lip, and he growled, but he also melted against me and wrapped his arms around my waist, dragging me close. I stumbled and turned, slamming him against the side of the car. I thought maybe I’d hurt him because he grunted, but I didn’t stop, simply shoved my leg between his and devoured his mouth, searching for something. Maybe an answer to how I’d lost my fucking mind between yesterday and today....
Or was that between twenty years ago and now?
I didn’t know, but I couldn’t get enough of the way he growled. His lips parted, and I claimed his mouth, tangling the tip of my tongue around his. The second I felt his cock swelling and pushing against my thigh, liquid lust streaked out through my veins and nearly put me on my knees.
I pulled far enough away to glare into his eyes. “I fucking hate you,” I snapped.
“Feeling’s mutual.” He dragged me closer by my tie and sealed his mouth to mine.
4
TAV
When was the last time I got laid?
Fuck.
It must’ve been three and a half months at least.
I’d been so busy getting my shite together for myself and Ellis that I hadn’t had time to go to a gay bar in the city to find a cock to use. There were certain unwritten rules when it came to the trailer park, and gay stuff was on the list of no-nos. Our landlord was a homophobic bastard, but I’d been stuck with little to no choice in where I lived. If I wanted to have sex, I had to let someone use me in the bar bathroom. It’d all been very uncomfortable.
Kissing Judah should’ve been a big fucking red flag. Ignoring the fact that we had a tempestuous past, too many lies and unresolved anger infected the air between us. We’d changed too much, no longer innocent teenagers so in love it hurt, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that we were poison to each other. Already, Judah’s rage at me was a festering wound that ate at him. I didn’t blame his feelings toward me for a second. He didn’t know the truth, would never know what had happened, and I should’ve taken the chance to walk away in between his kiss and mine.
There were other jobs.
A selfish part of me couldn’t let him go, though. His taste exploded on my tongue, his kiss an addiction I’d never quite recovered from, and I craved more. Most of the sex I’d had was disappointing, maybe average at best, and there’d never been a man like Judah in my life since. His passion, his drive, his hunger for me.... They were my aphrodisiacs.
Add in the current hatred he had for me, and the chemistry was positively electric. His cock nudged against my lower belly, and I groaned, rolling my hips to give him more friction. He’d always been fucking big in that department, had always been tall, too, but now he was wide and had muscles I’d never imagined on him.
He nipped my bottom lip hard enough to draw a hiss and some blood from me, and he leaned back to smirk, the underlying fury burning in his gaze. “Get in the fucking house, Tav.”
No. It was a two-letter word, easy to say, yet I couldn’t push it out from between my lips. It was physically impossible because I wanted this regardless of how much it was going to ruin the carefully constructed wall I’d built around myself. I joked and laughed, but in the end, I fucking hurt, too. I’d let the best thing that ever happened to me go because of an impossible choice, one given to me by Judah’s mother. I could never give him a reason to hate her. He didn’t deserve that, even if she did.
I hesitated too long, and he shoved me backward until I slammed into the car. He crowded in against me, his shoulders wide and powerful as he slapped the vehicle on either side of my arms, trapping me. He kissed a trail along my jaw, and my chin tipped back, giving him better access. He mapped down my neck, his lips soft but teeth harsh every time he brought them out to nip and bite. It was obvious that he didn’t know if he wanted to be gentle or hurt me.
I knew which one I deserved.
Then, he moved up again toward my ear and nibbled on my lobe before tracing the shell with his tongue. “I. Fucking. Hate. You.”
I gnashed my teeth at him, grinning. “Then hate me while you fuck the living hell out of me, if you’ve got the knackers for it.”
This time when he bit down on my ear, it was hard enough to tug a raw shout from the depths of my throat. I rolled my hips forward, dragging my bulge over the thigh he shoved between my legs.
“House. Now.” He stepped back, and his eyes burned, alight with an array of emotions, from anger to desire, and my feet were moving before I could rethink what I was about to do. I got to the front door before he did, but he was right behind me, using a pin in the security pad to release the lock.
The house was massive and beautiful inside and out. I didn’t know much about architecture, but it didn’t take an expert to figure out this was a top-shelf place with fixtures that others would drool over. The foyer had a tall ceiling with patterns carved into it and white porcelain tiles. To the left was a winding staircase with brown marble steps and black iron handrails, and straight ahead of us was an arched entrance that led deeper into the house.
It wasn’t as big as his family home, but it was huge for only one person, which gave me something to dwell on. Had Judah always been alone or had he found someone? Maybe they’d split ways? These were the kind of questions I wanted to have the right to ask him, but there was no time for talking when he seized my wrist in a firm grip and hauled me up the staircase.
