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“I love you like a man loves a woman. Like a man needs a woman. Fuck, like two souls who have been connected through millions of lifetimes only to keep finding one another kind of love.”
“Don’t do that,” I whispered as my body started to shake. Something he didn’t miss.
“Kait—"
“Don’t say things you think I want to hear because you don’t want to stop being friends,” I clipped. My heart wanted to argue with me. I wanted to believe the words he’d just said. But I was thirty-eight and knew better. When something sounded too good to be true, it more than likely was.
“Kait—"
“And we might talk daily, or at least we did, but when’s the last time we saw each other?” I asked.
“The last time we hung out in person face to face?”
“I’ve been working.”
“I know.” I smiled. “I’ve been watching you. I came here. Did you know that? Fourth game of the season, I was up in the stands, just to see you.”
“Why didn’t?—"
“You never invited me,” I cut him off. “You sent Principal Brewer tickets but never offered me any.”
“I didn’t think?—"
“So, I bought the sports package on cable and stream your games but had to come see for myself.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
“Babe, I’m just the assistant coach,” he blurted, and I blinked.
“Just?”
“Kait—"
“Are you slow, Red? There is no just with what you do! Godwin’s great, but we both know he can’t be that way without you. Just like back in Beech Grove! You were amazing.”
“I was only a high school football coach and a math teacher.” He shook his head along with my words. I knew this argument was going to go in through one ear and out the other. But because I was me, and I was stubborn to the core, I tried.
“Who changed the lives of so many kids? Red?—"
“That doesn’t matter. None of it does.”
“Tell that to those kids you?—"
“That’s neither here nor there.” His jaw clenched, and my eye twitched at how painful it looked. “You’re not going to get knocked up by some stranger in a notebook, and that’s that!”
“Oh, really?” I challenged because I couldn’t believe him. Anger and frustration were bad enough, but there was something else that thickened my veins.
“Yes, really. Bug, Jesus! What are you thinking? What if that first try doesn’t work? What if it doesn’t give you those twins or that baby you want? Then what? What about all that cake you dropped on something, just to fail?”
“Then I’ll deal with the disappointment,” I clipped with a stomp of my foot. “That’s life. I’ll deal with it, Red.” My voice hitched. Emotions were getting the better of me. I’d walked in with a plan, and now Red was messing with my head. I love you like a man loves a woman. His words bounced in my head.
“I know life doesn’t always give you what you want. Trust me! I know.” My voice shook, but it didn’t crack. I stared right into his blue eyes hoping he could read I meant him because I wasn’t strong enough to tell him once again how much I loved him.
“Bug—"
“But you keep going. You keep moving forward. Life’s not about the plans that didn’t come out like you thought they would, Red.”
