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No matter what and no matter how much time I had with Kaitlyn, this thing in me, the obsession I felt for her, would never disappear. The thing in me was too strong. My eyes skated to the ground, and I remembered how she’d taken her clothes off in the kitchen. I was tempted to slip out of bed when she was deep asleep and grab the panties she’d left on the floor as a keepsake.
I was a sick motherfucker.
But it was okay. I was her sick motherfucker.
I just had to make sure she never found out.
CHAPTER 14
KAITLYN
I woke up slowly from amazing sleep. I hadn’t moved yet, but I knew I’d be deliciously sore the moment I did. Red’s bedroom was cloaked in darkness. I wasn’t completely awake, but I knew I was alone in bed. My eyes fluttered open as I took in the sounds of the house. Everything was quiet. Is he in the bathroom?
I sat up and glanced toward the ensuite bathroom door. Even though it was shut, I knew he wasn’t inside. There was no light coming from underneath. Carefully, I sat up and grabbed his University of the Desert coaching staff shirt off the floor and slipped it on before reaching for my glasses.
The room became clear, and I didn't know why I felt disappointed he wasn’t there. I smiled. Like he would sit in the corner of his bedroom and watch me sleep. I shook my head at how crazy that sounded.
When I heard shuffling outside, I stood to look for Red.
I was about to head toward the kitchen, assuming he got up for a snack or glass of water, when I noticed the door to his home office was open and the light was on inside. I shouldn’t have moved toward it, but sleepy curiosity won, so I softly padded my way over.
I shouldn’t have.
I knew it was his space.
One he kept locked because of work.
When I stood at the doorway, I felt my lips tip upward with a smile. His broad back was facing me. In my tired state, I sleepily noticed the space looked like a regular guest room— a bed, a desk, a TV. I was almost disappointed. Since the room was always locked up, I’d almost convinced myself he was hiding something. But at first glance, it all looked normal. Regular. Almost a little boring.
I was about to ask what he was doing when I noticed the boxes. A box on the bed. Why was he packing up the room? My gaze dropped to the side. His desk was plain. Dark wood littered with what I first thought were play sheets.
But the longer I stood there and stared, the more I realized they weren’t play sheets. I’d seen play sheets before. I blinked. The harder I looked at them, the less the things I was seeing made sense.
Pictures.
And more pictures.
I glanced at the box he was filling, and when I recognized what he was holding in his hands, my body froze. A cardigan. It was innocent enough. Except it was mine. One I used to love. I’d lost it over five years ago. I watched him lift it to his nose before putting it into the box, and when he reached for something else, my eyes widened with horror at what I was looking at.
Panties. A lot of them. Whose? But it wasn’t just underwear. There were bras, too. And more articles of clothes.
All mine. My heart felt like it was going to stop, and my mind felt like it was pushing through sludge while it slowly it processed what I was seeing.
My things. They weren’t some kind of collection from women from his past. They were all mine. Things I’d owned and had somehow lost.
“Red?” I found myself saying just as his hand grabbed a pair of what looked like cherry-printed panties.
I’d owned a pair like that once. A long time ago.
“I told you.” His deep voice sounded different. Deep and scratchy. He didn't turn around. “I told you I was obsessed,” he somewhat repeated, and when he finally turned, he didn’t shy away from what he held between his fingers. He brought them up to his nose and inhaled deeply before he relaxed. My face filled with heat. Suddenly, my thoughts weren’t moving so slowly any longer. They were racing. Red had my things in here. I told you I was obsessed. He had my panties. He was sniffing my panties!
“You wore these after we graduated. That fucking beach party you made me go to. I was drunk and high off pain pills, but you still took me to your apartment, you remember that?” My heartbeat started to pick up speed.
“I do,” I softly confirmed.
“You took me to your place and had me sleep on your couch. I started to fall asleep when I watched you head to your bedroom, but you dropped something?—"
“My shoe.” The memory was clear in my mind. A moment in time I hadn’t thought all that much about.
