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“Of course they do. It’s perfectly safe and you’ve been given a clean bill of health by the doc, so there’s no reason you can’t do it. They even jump people who are in wheelchairs, you know.”
Yeah. Probably adrenalin addicts who were in wheelchairs because of bungy jumping. I’d rather have William’s third present than go through this.
“What if the rope breaks? They could forget to tie it on properly and only realise once I’ve plunged to my death!” Hmm, on second thoughts… at least then I wouldn’t have to put up with this awful day anymore.
No, I couldn’t think like that. Pull yourself together, Kelli!
“They won’t forget. I know Ben, he’s a professional,” Ryan assured me.
Professional what? Professional idiot?
I looked at the huge purpose-built structure, completely out of place in the lush natural rainforest and imagined myself launching off the edge to hang precariously above the water. I shuddered as I envisioned all my saggy bits sagging upside down, my loose turkey-neck skin falling over my face, covering my mouth and nose and cutting off my air supply. This could be fatal in more ways than one.
“I can’t do it… I’m not dressed for it!” I looked down at my curved hems, which would curve all the way over my head if I was hung upside down. “Look, I can’t bungy jump in this outfit.”
Ryan simply smiled, zipped open his backpack and pulled out a pair of pants and a singlet.
“You brought a change of clothes for me?”
He nodded. “I grabbed them before we drove to the doctors. I didn’t want to say anything about what you were wearing in case you got suspicious.” Ryan stepped in close and looked me in the eye. “I’ve bungy jumped four times already, it’s exhilarating! You can do this, Mum. It might be just what you need.”
Could he be right? Could this be some sort of challenge I have to go through to get back to my twenty-five-year-old self? Maybe it would shock me back to my real life. Hmmm, if I didn’t do it I could be stuck in this terrible life forever. But if I did it, there’s a chance it’d create another cosmic shift thingy and transport me back where I belong.
I alternated my weight from one foot to the other and Ryan continued to encourage me with his determined eyes. What was it the doctor had said? Try to enjoy your day. Make the most of it – have some fun, do something different! Aha! He could be in on this whole charade and that might have been a subtle way of telling me how to fix it, without saying: ‘Mrs McSnelly, I’d like to prescribe a treatment of bungy jumping. Go jump off a ledge and call me in the morning.’
“Okay,” I mumbled, eyes on the ground, barely believing what I’d just agreed to.
Ryan planted his hands on my arms. “So you’ll do it?” His eyes widened and his breath quickened.
“Quick, before I change my mind.” I walked towards the towering monstrosity and Ryan followed like a puppy anticipating a game of fetch.
“Yes! I knew you’d come round. You won’t regret it, Mum.”
My legs became weak and I was sure a rock star drummer was inside my chest, banging on the wall of my heart. But I forced the vision of my young self, lazing in bed in my own apartment to the front of my mind. Soon, with any luck, it would no longer be a vision but a reality.
Chapter 5
Leap of Faith
“You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.” – Paulo Coelho
After meeting the legendary Ben and going through the required training, as well as signing a holographic legal form (almost signing my surname as Crawford instead of McSnelly), Ryan completed his bungy jump first. I didn’t know whether watching him would make me feel better or worse, so I half watched through fingers covering my face. He came up to me afterwards all hyper and bouncy, like he’d had ten cups of coffee in one hit and reassured me I’d be fine.
By the time they’d attached me to the rope via the padded ankle harness, I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Well, the second. The first would have been letting my body get to this visibly aged state. I looked longingly at the direction from which I’d come, wanting desperately to go back down and huddle under a blanket in the car. But Ryan was there, urging me on.
“You can do it, Mum! Just think how great you’ll feel afterwards.”
Right. Yes. Afterwards. It’ll all be over soon. Breathe, Kelli.
“Now, just do a little bunny-hop over to the edge, like we practised, Kelli,” Ben said, his hand on the small of my back.
Easier said than done. I couldn’t find the strength to hop, the bones and muscles in my legs seemed to have disappeared. Using all the effort I could muster, I bunny-shuffled instead, the long distance between me and the water below becoming frighteningly more apparent.
Twenty-five. Twenty-five. Won’t be long now and I’ll be back home. Yes, back home. I fixed my mind on the desired outcome, rather than the heavy metal concert going off in my chest cavity. My toes met the edge and it was time.
“Take a deep breath, Kelli,” Ben instructed. “And then allow yourself to simply fall forward.”
I didn’t know whether to cry or vomit, or both. I imagined my half-digested yolkless eggs going on a bungy jump of their own, only without the cord, landing in the water below with a big splosh. That made me want to vomit even more. I looked back at Ryan one last time, and his enthusiastic expression combined with his ridiculous hairstyle only reinforced the fact that I didn’t belong here. Didn’t belong in the McSnelly family. I needed to get back to my young, carefree, childless life. With Grant. I couldn’t wait for him to wrap his arms around me again and get down on one knee to…
