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I hadn’t made it a hundred feet away before I was questioning whether or not I’d made the right decision.
Chapter Six
Everlie
By the time the cab dropped me off at home, my mind was in a full on tug-of-war over having refused Ryker’s offer. But as I went inside, I snapped at myself to get it together. If he wasn’t interested in anything but getting me into bed, then I wasn’t missing out on anything other than a hot night of meaningless sex. I laughed to myself, imagining Tori’s reaction if I were to tell her that. I could practically hear her say, “But, Ev, that was the whole point!”
Not surprisingly, she wasn’t home yet. I went to my room, stripped out of Tori’s dress and laid it over the arm of the ungodly gold rocking chair I’d inherited from my grandmother, and made a mental note to take it to the dry cleaner’s the next day. I slipped a large, faded t-shirt on and pulled on a pair of baseball socks before sinking down into bed. It was already nearing midnight, and I forced my mind to shut down, so I could get some sleep and not stay up half the night thinking about Ryker.
In the morning, before I even opened my eyes, I was overcome with fragments of memories from the night before. The entire thing still had me confused and conflicted. I’d been hoping a long night of sleep would release the frustration I’d been holding onto when I’d gone to bed. I rolled out of bed, flicked on my bedside radio clock to a country station, and padded into my attached bathroom to take a hot shower, singing along with my favorite songs as they swirled through the open door, mingling with the steam and the sound of the water hitting the tile floor.
After dressing and sweeping on some mascara and lip gloss, I piled my hair into a tight top knot, releasing a few strands around my face, and went out to the kitchen to get some breakfast into my system before leaving for the dance studio. Saturday was my busiest work day, with booked out classes from ten to eight, a new group of students rotating through every hour. Tori was already in the kitchen when I got there, sitting at the small teak table for two, with a huge mug of coffee in her hands. She glanced up at my approach, her blue eyes bright against a bloodshot background. Her hair was frazzled and fluffy, but she smiled at me like a cat that had just spent all day in the sun. “Morning, Ev.”
“Morning,” I replied. I didn’t want to be mad at her, but I couldn’t stamp down the flares of frustration from the night before, or the way she’d abandoned me to go off and get lucky.
She leaned back in her chair and stretched her arms above her head. “What time did you get back last night?”
“Ten something, maybe eleven.” I grabbed the carton of milk from the fridge and dumped a cup in the blender. My back was to Tori as I worked, adding some greens and a banana to the mix, with a scoop of protein powder to top it off.
“Everlie, are you serious?” Tori was watching me, I could feel her eyes on my back. I didn’t have to see her face to know the expression she was giving me. I’d seen it a dozen times before.
I flicked on the blender, the sound of the ingredients munching together into a smooth, green purée drowning out Tori’s lecture. When I cut the power, she was still ranting, “—I mean, I basically served him up on a platter! What the hell happened?”
“Nothing!” I shouted. I spun around to face her. “Nothing happened, Tori. We walked around and talked a little and then I headed back here. I didn’t even want to go last night, but I did because you asked me to! How can you possibly be mad at me?”
“I’m not mad, Ev. I just don’t get it!”
I sighed and folded my arms. “You don’t get me, is what you mean.”
She didn’t deny it. “All I’m saying is that you had the perfect chance for a good time and you blew it!”
I whipped around and busied myself, pouring the smoothie into a shaker cup, deciding against sitting at home and drinking it down. I needed to get out, away from Tori and her disapproval. I snapped the lid on and it let out a loud crack sound. “I don’t have time to talk about this with you, Tori. We’re different people, okay. You do you and I don’t lecture you, so please, just let me do me. I’m a grown woman, I don’t need you telling me how I should live my life, especially not on something like who and when I should sleep with a man!”
Tori shook her head, as though in disbelief, and stared into her coffee. “You’re right, Ev. I’m sorry. Do you. I just know how stressed out you’ve been lately, and thought you might have some fun if you just let yourself go for a night. That’s all I was trying to do.”
I sat down in the chair across from her. “I appreciate that you were trying to help, but you need to let me do things in my own speed. That’s all I’m asking.”
She nodded. “Understood. Well, at least, as much as I can possibly understand. I still think you’re crazy for not letting Ryker fuck your brains out! Seriously girl, that is some mad self-control you’ve got there!”
“I gotta get to work,” I said, pushing away from the table. “Will you be here tonight?”
She smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know. Bennett and I didn’t do a lot of talking last night, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he hit me up later.”
I nodded and slipped away before I said something the wrong way. I didn’t want to kick up more trouble between us, especially after she’d apologized for pushing me too hard.
* * * *
The day at the studio was just the escape I needed. It was impossible for me to stay pent up and frustrated when I had dozens of little faces watching my every move and doing their best to copy me. I loved each and every one of my students, and even though teaching sometimes made for long days, it was the most rewarding job I’d ever had.
Sometimes, after a series of dance auditions, I’d find myself worried that I’d get a lead role and not be able to keep teaching. What had originally started as a way to keep in shape and trained, had turned into one of the biggest passions of my life, and I couldn’t imagine leaving it behind. I hoped I’d never have to choose between having my name in lights, and being there for my students.
Each class flew by, and although I was exhausted, I was happy with the progress all of my students were making. Even the little toddlers had seemed to bring their A-game. If there was such a thing as toddler A-game. The clock on the studio wall was rapidly approaching eight o’clock and I sighed, knowing the end of the day was so near. I had no doubt that Tori would be gone all night with Bennett, and I’d be left alone in the apartment. It wasn’t that I couldn’t be alone, but I knew if I spent the night alone, my mind would wander and lead me to thinking about Ryker, and what might have happened. That would lead to thinking about all of my other close-call relationships that had ended before they’d really begun. And all of that would lead to thinking about the future and what I wanted out of life.
And I didn’t think I had enough wine in the house to deal with it all.
My last class wrapped, and I waited around until each student had been picked up, before cleaning up. I put away all the props and wiped down the wall mirror and barre. The school was funded mostly thanks to an education grant, and I was currently the only teacher. Which meant a lot of paperwork to keep up with. Even though I was exhausted, I decided the best use of my time would be to get a jump on the monthly accounting logs. It beat going home to an empty apartment.
I was refilling my water bottle at the filter in the sink in the tiny storage room that served as my break room, when I heard the front door bell go off. I shook my head, swearing I’d locked it after sending the last student home. The studio was in a less than desirable neighborhood, and I was always super cautious being there alone, especially at night. I went out into the main room, my limbs shaking and my heart thumping out a warning in my chest. My racing pulse screeched to an abrupt stop at the sight of Ryker standing in my studio. He was wearing all black, street clothes, as compared to his more dressed up look from the night before. I could see tattoos on his right forearm, a detail I hadn’t seen the night before. He had the same wicked grin as our eyes met, but it was somehow magnified once his exterior appearance matched his bad boy demeanor.
