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“No. Idomiss you, kiddo. Truly.But…” His jaw flexed, and his spoon hit the table too. “There’s aproblem.”
“A war?” She turned her spoon, leaving asugary white-and-black trail along the bare wood. “I’m not totallyoblivious to everything.”
“I know you’re not.”
She looked up to watch her father’s broad,weathered face as she continued. “And Ben just got out, didn’t he?”The tic in Adam’s jaw was far bigger this time, and she swore avein in his forehead moved with it. His expression iced over at herbrother’s name for a second. He exhaled and tapped thetable.
“I wish you were about thirty percentdimmer, darling.”Her dad’s smile returned, but it washeavier. Almost sad. “I need you to help me this time, Zara.” Herjaw dropped.
“How? Because I’m not the party planner.Gia’s the one you—”
“I need to make nice with the De Luccafamily. And you know the Italians. All about family.”
“Dad!” Zara snapped, pushing away from thetable. There was only one reason an Outfit father would start onthat track: the nightmare scenario every girl born in a connectedfamily dreaded. The one Zara had feared every day since she sawHannah’s hollow smile above a thirty-thousand-dollar wedding gown.She’d told herself over and over that Hannah wanted that marriage,that it was a coincidence Hannah fell in love right after Ben’ssentencing. But facing her father right now, with the nightmare infull color… “Tell me you aren’t about to act like it’s thefifteenth fucking century.”
“Zara, it’s just a formality. A nod to theirdamn traditions. You go out with the guy. You marry him, playhouse. Three years tops. And if he so much as touches you, come tome, and I call the whole damn thing off.”
“Is this the speech you gave Hannah?” Sherubbed a hand over her face, trying to remind her lungs towork.
“Hannah volunteered.”
“And when Grandpa did this shit to you andMom? Look how great that worked—”
“Leave your mother out of this. You aren’tme, and you sure as hell aren’t her. This won’t be the same foryou, I swear—”
“But I’m not a puppy!’ She got to her feet,squaring off with him. “You can’t just drop me off at the Italiankennel and—”
“I’m up against the Bratva.”
The rest of her outrage died on her lips.The Russian mafia was not spoken of lightly. She looked closer ather dad’s face. The more pronounced lines, the signs of exhaustion,and other details fell into place. Dane’s crazy hours when heshould have still been excused for funerals and family things.Sawyer’s tense interactions, snapping and snarling when he wasusually friendly. “Oh.”
“Me and Vittorio don’t fuckin’ like oneanother, and he’s got a million fewer reasons to like those Russianassholes, but I can’t risk it. If they side against mehere…”
“What the hell did Bennett do,Dad?”
He shook his head. “I can’t answer that,sweetheart. I won’t. You don’t need the nightmares. But he’sstirred the Russians up.”
“Don’t they know you disownedhim?”
“Blood is blood. And he owes it.”
The chair caught her, thankfully, or she’dhave collapsed onto the tile. “After everything? He did … more?” Athousand ugly memories fluttered around her head like ashes in thewind. Finding Gia crying in a guest room with cigarette burns onher arm. The time he’d taught their little brother how to give“insulin” shots with a spoon and rubber bands. Hiding in the pantrywith Dane while Ben went “hunting” because you didn’t want to bethe one he aimed his souped-up paintball gun at.
She and Gia planned for months to getsomething on Ben that would convince their father to stop him. Zarafucked that up, then accidentally fixed it with her stupidconfession to Dane. But she’d always thought, somehow, that onceBen was in prison and cleaned up, he’d be different. Better. Unlessit was never the drugs making him do all that in the firstplace.
Adam rubbed his hand over his face, groaninglike he saw the same hideous visions. “I fucked up with him,sweetheart. I kick myself every goddamn day, but I can’t let himhurt the rest of you any more than he already has. And here I am,fucking up with you, too. Trying to patch over hisbullshit.”
“No.” Zara swallowed hard, grabbing the icecream container and lugging it to the freezer. “You aren’t fuckingup with me, Dad.” She shut the door and rested against it beforeshe turned back. A mile of white stone and empty space loomedbetween them, but she met her dad’s eyes. “I get it. Gia’s got Dex.They’re off again, but we all know that’ll last a month. Ethan andHannah are married, Caleb’s in high school, and Derek’s practicinglaw. And what am I doing? College and Tinder.”
Adam made a face. “That better be a goddamnjoke, Zara.”
“You’re asking me to marry for feudalunderworld bullshit. You don’t get to slut-shame.”
“I don’t need to hear about your sexlife.”
“You lost that option the second you startedtalking me into a wedding gown, Daddy. What if Vittorio De Lucca isexpecting a virgin?”
“The man’s not an idiot. If he wanted avirgin, he should’ve brought it up.”
