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“Of course not. I just wasn’t expectingyou.” His lips brushed the top of her head. “How did you get here?Did you drive? Shit. You shouldn’t—”
“It’s not that long a drive. Three hoursmax, if the traffic sucks.” Going up on her toes, she kissed hisjaw, ignoring the scratchy fuzz of his whiskers and reveling in theslow slide of his hand up her back. “Don’t worry, I didn’t park inyour lot. And nobody tried to kill me on the very short walkover.”
He smiled and tilted her head up for ashockingly gentle kiss. “Did you not have class today?” He met hereyes, his dark gaze clearly looking into the depths of her soul.Did he know she was freaking out on the inside? Of course he did.Dane somehow knew everything about everyone.
“I skipped.” When he opened his mouth withan obvious reproach, she put her hand over his lips. “Don’t worry.They won’t expel me. Nobody’s going to call Dad about it. Unlessyou do.”
“Don’t tempt me. You shouldn’t miss classes,Z.”
“Not even to see you?”
“Especially not.” His smile softened thewords almost as much as the hand he curved along her back. Her bodylit up when he held her, and she wanted more. Needed it. Needed hishands on every inch of her skin and his heartbeat againsthers.
But it can’t be all about myneeds.
“I w-won’t make a habit of it.” She bit hertraitorous lip, which wasn’t wanting to shape what she needed tosay. “But I left before we … I figured waiting a whole week to talkabout, um, about what happened with us. What’s going to happen…”She edged back, letting go of him to stare into his eyes, begginghim to understand everything without her dragging it all out.Hemust already know. He’s always two steps ahead.
“Oh.” The warmth in his eyes faded, and hisshoulders straightened ever so slightly. As if he knew what she wasthinking and didn’t want to have the conversation either. But ithad to be said.
“I don’t know if I did … take advantage. Ofyou. The timing and your dad. And everything.” He didn’t interrupt,so she rushed out the next garbled thought, already hating everyword. “If this wasn’t something you’d have done normally. If you’reregretting things. I didn’t mean to push you. Only I was alreadyplanning this whole future for us in my head afterward, and I neverasked you, and I realized that’s what you meant about who I ammattering. But it doesn’t have to. We can figure it out. I know wecan. If you want to.”
His expression didn’t change. He didn’t lookaway. But, damn it, why couldn’t she read him like he read her? Whywasn’t he saying anything? Then, without warning, he turned awayand sauntered into the kitchen. She watched him grab a water bottleand a takeout box like she’d ceased to exist. “Dane?” she promptedhim, unsure if she should follow. It seemed likea weird timeto start lunch prep, but maybe he’d skipped breakfast.
When he faced her, his lips were drawn in athin, severe line, and his eyes seemed far away and terriblyhollow. She felt her stomach lurch.I said something wrong. Whatthe fuck did I say?
“It’s out of our hands, Zara. It doesn’tmatter. And you know that.”
“It does. It’s all that matters.” Shepressed a hand to her stomach as a wave of nerves turned to nausea.He’s being diplomatic, isn’t he? I did the thing. Stage FiveCling Wrap—that’s how Gia puts it.Zara fought for a breatharound the knot forming in her throat.
He took a few steps closer, but just as shethought he would reach for her again, he stopped and relaxedagainst the breakfast bar, long, elegant fingers slowly tapping theplastic bottle. “Let’s say, for a second, that it does. What then?We paint targets on our backs? Live in hiding? Because that’s whatoutlaws get, Z. Shitty motel rooms, always on the run, ducking outthe next door and running for cover. It’s not worththat.”
Translation: You’renot worththat.Which wasn’t a revelation, just a confirmation.
She stared at him, memorizing the casualangle of his arm, the movement of his fingers. The roaring pulse inher ears quieted. Stopped. Her breath returned. Her chest felt likea bullet just tore through it, but that wasn’t new. She’d felt thatbefore when he kissed another girl or spun someone else around adance floor at one of the “gatherings” her dad pretended were justparties. And on occasion, when other men she dared to likeinevitably stared at Gia all night. Though, in retrospect, thathurt less than this all-consuming agony.
Zara pushed her hair behind her ear. “Yeah.You’re right. There’s no point. I wouldn’t want to jeopardizethings for you. Again.” She managed a nod and something like asmile. “So, I’ll just get out of your hair. I know you’re busyright now.” She didn’t let herself pause, just grabbed the doorlike a lifeline.Out. Get out. Run.Maybe don’t stop ‘tilyou get to the Pacific.
A beam of light from outside streamed acrossthe floor—a beacon to welcome her to safe harbor. But as quickly asit stabbed through the darkness of the apartment, it was gone, andher hand jerked back as the door slammed shut. Confused, she staredat the doorknob, trying to figure out why the door wouldn’t open.Then she saw Dane’s hand pressed hard against the metal. He’dfollowed without her hearing and stopped her escape.
“You don’t get it, Zara. This isn’t aboutme. It’s never been about me.” The resentment in that sentencecould’ve stripped the paint off the apartment walls. “It’syouI won’t jeopardize. I don’t know how to make that anyclearer.”
“You’ve made plenty of things clear. Ishouldn’t have gotten so emotional about a one-night stand.” Hurtwas turning to anger, and God help her, she was fine with that.Zara shoved his arm to get him to let go of the door. “I got thepicture, Dane.”
He stepped back to keep his balance, hisexpression shifting from emptiness to fury in a breath. “What doyou expect? For me to fall to my knees and thank you for taking abreak from the carousel of men you’ve thrown in my face since highschool? You’ve made things plenty clear for me, too, Zara. Up untilyou decided a pity fuck was the best option.”
She couldn’t keep track of all the wrongthings he said. It was all razor-edged nonsense. “Pity fuck?” sheechoed dully. “No. I didn’t...”
“You caught me at a vulnerable moment. Whichhas passed and—” Dane seemed to catch himself before reaching infront of her to twist the doorknob. “You know? Maybe leaving is agreat idea.”
She stopped halfway through the door andlooked back, fixing her eyes on him with a force of will she didn’tknow she had. “Just so you know, I tried every way I could to getyour attention. To get one minute where you didn’t look at me likea kid or a problem.”
His lips curled in a pained sneer.“Bullshit.”
“I know that now. Thanks for the one minute,Dane. I won’t bother you for another.” She was turning before shefinished talking, not caring if he heard. The elevator door wasopen, and she wasn’t wasting time. She darted inside, the doorswhooshing shut as he called out something she didn’t want tohear.
She practically ran out of the building andall the way to her car. Only once she was inside, she staredblankly at the GPS screen.Where the fuck do I go fromhere?
She couldn’t face the three hours back toclasses she didn’t want to be in. Her former stepmother, Darla, wasthe usual choice for emergency shelter and guidance—but Darla wasin Italy for another month, and while Zara had the security codesfor her house, the idea of being entirely alone felt like a badidea. She needed noise. She needed people, even if only in thebackground…
