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We lie in silence for several minutes before I break it. “Have you even missed me?”
He exhales warm air over the back of my nape as his fingers start to trace over the back of my hands. “I have not stopped thinking about you since the morning they arrested me in Portland.”
I attempt to regulate my inhales so that it doesn’t sound like I just ran a marathon. He waits for me, ever so patiently, to speak.
“Then, why didn’t you text me?” My voice is a whisper as I attempt not to sound completely pathetic.
His fingers grasp my hip bone and squeeze hard as he sighs. “Rosie … I’ve typed out a thousand messages to you. I’ve driven by your father’s house over and over. One night, I nearly broke in, just to speak to you. I had no idea where your head was at. You called him—you called them—to arrest me for your kidnapping. I didn’t know if they’d convinced you I’d done it, that I was the bad guy, or if …” His voice grows weak as he struggles to continue.
Holy shit. He really does care …
“You had every right to doubt me, to question who was telling the truth. Of all people, I promise I get what it means to believe that blood is thicker than water, that family comes first. I should’ve brought you back straightaway. Taking you with me was selfish. I just … couldn’t bear the thought of them hurting you again. I couldn’t let you out of my sight. That was my fault, my wrong. I swear to God, I’ll spend as much time as you’ll let me proving that I’ll never put any sense of?—”
“No,” I interrupt him, grasping his hands to my chest. “You were right. I wasn’t safe with him. You were trying to prove it to me, to get the phone records. I’m sorry I … I didn’t know what to believe then. I trust you. I always have. I believe you. I feel …” I nearly choke on my emotions as the next words leave my lips. “I feel safe with you,” I whisper. “I feel safer here than I do anywhere else. I should’ve tried to explain to you what was going on, why I didn’t come back to you. I was … trying to come to grips with the fact that he really did this, that he was capable of it. All along, you were right. You tried to warn me. You told me that it was his doing and just … I couldn’t face it.”
His grip around me tightens as he peppers kisses around my hairline, his strong legs wrapping around mine.
But he keeps his word and doesn’t touch me sexually, and we both fall into a deep sleep.
I wake up alone the next morning. I stretch out on the bed, feeling better than I have in as long as I can remember. I inhale a deep lungful of Holden’s scent from his pillow before hopping out of bed.
After showering and putting on makeup, I dress in jeans with a long-sleeved red bodysuit. Dolly and I chatter while drinking coffee, and I can tell she’s internally begging me to tell her what happened last night when I didn’t come to sleep in her room.
“Okay, you might as well spill it. I’m dying over here. Are you and he … together?”
I shrug with a deep sigh. “We both kind of spilled our guts last night. Nothing happened. We just slept. I still feel like after everything, I need some kind of … declaration from him. He’s never said his exact feelings or that he wants to be exclusive or anything. I want to … go on a date. Am I overthinking it?”
She shakes her head vigorously. “You’re not overthinking it at all. He owes you that.”
I purse my lips. “I don’t know if I should stop sleeping in his room until he does or …”
She debates my question. “I think you should. He shouldn’t get the goods without making the commitment.”
I nod, grinning at her. “Now, do you get why I was so insistent that Duke and I were never going to happen?”
Her mouth drops open. “How long have you been crushing on Holden?”
I’m embarrassed to admit it, so I simply look away and mumble, “A while.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Damn. No wonder Duke and Holden beat the shit out of each other.”
My eyes widen.
She nods, raising her brows. “Yeah, I think they worked it out in their brotherly type of way. Okay, so today, I think we should decorate for Christmas!”
I clap my hands excitedly. “Yes! I need some festivities in my life.”
The holiday is merely two weeks away. I have no idea what I’m going to get everyone or when I’ll even have time to go shopping.
After a few hours of decorating with Christmas music playing over the speakers, someone bursts through the back door.
“Rosie! Rosie, come quick!” Duke’s eyes are wide with excitement.
My heart drops into my stomach as I jump to my feet. “What happened?”
Dolly and I race outside behind him.
“Holden’s being a fucking idiot. You need to talk some sense into him,” he calls over his shoulder as we race toward the barn.
