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“When I hit fourteen, I went to the worst family yet. The dad would stare at me…all the time. He finally came to my room one night, but he just sat there and watched me sleep. I ran away the next day, just got off the bus with some girl I’d made friends with in the lunch line. She let me stay the night at her house, but then I slept in playground slides for two weeks. This young mom found me early one Saturday and called CPS. That’s when…Victoria picked me.” Her voice goes cold.
“She was a former pageant queen, but she was over fifty and washed up. She’s the closest thing to a real mom I ever had. She…entered me in contests. At first, they were for big stores, but I was so shy. I hated the camera on me, hated having to smile at it. She’d get so angry…then she put me on this diet. She always wanted me to be skinnier, to fit into size zero jeans. I ate a few cubes of cheese and grapes every day.”
She’s playing with my hand, bending my fingers down gently, then spreading them back out. She traces the jagged scar I got from the combine blade.
“The weird part was that I wanted to do it for her. She would buy me designer clothes, jewelry, take me to get my hair and nails done. She constantly raved about my complexion and my eyes and how beautiful she thought I was.
“Then, she met this guy at a modeling agency, and he was looking for a tattoo model. His client wanted ‘fresh skin,’ he said. They made some kind of deal, and I signed a contract. I was fifteen when they started on me. The first artist refused to do it when he saw me—he knew I wasn’t old enough. Of course, with Victoria’s permission, it was technically legal, but he still didn’t want to. I was so relieved when we left, but she was fuming. She thought it was because I wasn’t pretty or skinny enough.”
She sighs, pausing for several long breaths. My head is pounding as the story continues. The discomfort in my chest gets worse with each passing moment.
“Anyways, I didn’t eat for a week. That’s when the agent, Lenny, found Sev. Sev was just out of prison, but apparently, he was the up-and-coming artist of Carbona. He needed a fresh model to brand. So, he did. The problem with Sev was…” She trails off, struggling to continue.
My stomach is tight, and I force the nausea down. I don’t want to know, but I know she needs to talk about it.
She lets out another sigh. “He would do ten-hour sessions with short breaks. I would always pass out around hour three, then wake up around five, pass out again. Victoria said it was just because I was anemic. He paid well, I guess.” She pauses for a second, and I adjust my hold on her arms.
“At first, he didn’t talk to me much, but then it was like he got…really invested in it. He’d hold me everywhere while he was working on me, his hands always…roaming…”
She breaks off, snuggling her nose into my chest, and I kiss the top of her head. My hands are shaking, my insides burning like a house fire.
“I applied for Ole Tex at the school library computers, but I never told Victoria. I didn’t know if I would even go. Once my body was covered in ink, what would they want with me? I did so many photo shoots, but I knew eventually, there’d be no new canvas to color on. Then, it happened. He tried to have sex with me one night while he was working on the Medusa.”
She lifts up her shirt to show me the woman with the thick cartoon hair.
“I said no, and he told me he knew I was in love with him too. It was like he’d created some idea of us being together in his mind. He…I think he was going to force it, so I ran while he was outside, smoking.
“Now that I’ve been gone, it’s like little fractions of truth light up in my head every day. Victoria didn’t love me; I made her money. Sev was just obsessed, but he never saw me as a real person, just an idea of the one he wanted. Lenny wanted money too…but now, they’ve found me. I broke off the contract, and they want me to come finish it. I don’t even know what the legal side of things is…but I had already been paid for the first half of the session, and they never got the photographs. Most of the money always went to Victoria and Lenny. I barely got anything. Victoria’s saying I stole from her—they all are. I don’t think Sev cares about the money. He just wants me back.”
She forces out a long sigh, and I loosen my hold on her. She sits up a little, pressing her forehead to the steering wheel.
“You don’t have to go back, Harley. You know that, right?” My voice is surprisingly controlled.
My emotions are a whirl of rage, sickness, and compassion. My gaze is intense on her face. I have to help her understand that she doesn’t owe them anything. I want to hold her, keep her safe for the rest of time.
I also want to tear several men limb from limb with my bare hands.
She looks back at me, her eyes red-rimmed. “But I broke the contract, and they won’t leave me alone until I do. They know where I am, and there’s no way he’ll give up.” She’s crying more now, the tears forming trails down her cheeks. “I don’t know what to do, Adam.” She hiccups, crying more and shattering my heart with her words. “I’m s-so scared.”
I draw her to me, and her face presses into my shoulder as her body shakes.
“You will never be alone again. I’m going to protect you. You have nothing to worry about anymore. I’m here, and I’m not leaving,” I murmur into her ear, rocking gently. My hands brush over her head as I plan my next move.
31
Harley
“He’s dangerous, Adam. Sev has been to prison. I think he was in a gang.”
I pull back after crying all the moisture from my body. I reach for the bottle of water in the bag of food, gulping it down.
“I’m not going to go fight him, although that is tempting.” He flexes his jaw, looking out the window at the darkness. His voice softens. “Thank you for telling me…I know that wasn’t easy.”
His honey gaze swings back to me, immediately calming my nerves. I know he can’t heal my trauma, but he is helping me learn to cope with it by being trustworthy and a good listener.
“I’m still learning my own…history. It’s all I’ve ever known, and almost every day, a new bad memory surfaces that I didn’t think about before as…bad.”
I bite into my lip, overwhelmed with my vulnerability. He thinks for a moment, looking down at our hands.
