AllFreeNovel
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It’s the nail in the coffin of us, and I know it’s over now. The finality of it is a concept I can’t fully grasp.
She has become the most vital part of my life. Her face is the only one I look forward to seeing every day.
I take the letter out of my pocket, tearing it to shreds. There are no words to express how broken I feel as the emptiness overwhelms me.
25
Harley
The sky is overcast, reflecting the dull, gray aching in my chest.
I walk home from my shift in the sticky, dark night. The clouds are threatening to release another downpour, and I almost wish they would.
When I reach the dorms and open the door, the soft rev of an engine purrs past.
My sleep that night is disturbed with frequent wakings. Lurching up from my pillow, I think Lenny is at the door, forcing me to come back to Carbona. When I realize it’s only a dream, I release a sigh. I look at the clock to see it’s nearly four, which means I’ve barely slept an hour. I dig through the back of my desk drawers for the emergency stash of weed I’ve had hidden since I arrived—another souvenir from my foster sister.
Cracking the window to the room, I light it up. Kenna is out cold, and I’m hoping no loud Texas trucks blaze by.
A few hits are all I need to calm the unease in my stomach. My head gets a little fuzzy, and I recline back on the pillow, accepting the sinking feeling that overcomes me, making my limbs feel heavy.
The week drags on, and nearly every night, I crack open the window to smoke a joint. I found a dealer easily enough by reaching out to the guy I’d bummed off of at the beach party. There isn’t a student on campus Kenna doesn’t know.
One night, the creak of the window woke her up, and she was completely terrified someone was breaking in. She started screaming like a lunatic before I could explain it was me.
After the realization, she was curious about the weed. Apparently, she had always wanted to try it. After only one inhale, she was doubled over, laughing hysterically. The rolling of my eyes was surely going to stick, but I couldn’t resist.
She’s just repeated her unbelievable feat of coffee-fetching despite the endless line as we make our way to early classes on Monday morning. My stomach is tied in knots, knowing I’m about to see Adam again after the agonizingly long week.
We haven’t bumped into each other once, not even at the cafeteria. He misses lunch most days, or he must go late to avoid me. I’ve seen his brother and roommates there multiple times.
Today, my hair is curled, lips harlot red. I don’t need to change myself for the approval of anyone.
Kenna’s voice breaks through my internal rant. “Okay, so I planned this a while back, but this weekend is our dorm party—well, it’s sort of turned into a hall party because Maya and the girls all invited more people, so there’s really not enough space in just our room.” She smiles at me apologetically.
“Okay…” Maybe I can pick up a shift. A party is the last thing I want to be at. “What night?”
She turns to me, grabbing my arm, eyes desperate. “Please, please, come. I know you…aren’t in the mood for socializing, but I’ll feel terrible if you get kicked out of your own room! It will be fun, I promise. I already told Kyle he is not invited. I know you’re sad about Adam, but—”
“I am not sad about him,” I lie through my teeth.
We’re about to pass by Silas and Dan, and Kenna stops to talk to them.
“Hey, guys, are y’all coming to the dorm party on Friday? It’s not sorority-related, and it’s super exclusive.” She beams at them, wiggling her eyebrows.
Dan returns the grin, ignoring my presence, while Silas stares at me.
I glare back at him.
“Yeah, we’ll be there. Are we allowed to wear our shirts?” Dan asks, a hint of humor in his tone.
Kenna laughs. “Hmm, maybe. Show up, and we’ll see.” We start to walk past them, and she lifts a hand to wave. “Make sure you tell Levi it’s basically just us, super intimate!”
She whirls back around to me. “Ugh! I’m so sorry. I’d already invited them all before you and Adam broke up! Surely, he won’t show.” Concern creases her brows, mouth frowning.
“It’s fine, really. I’m going to pick up a shift at the bar anyways,” I say, discomfort in my chest. “He can go if he wants.” My apathetic tone is a betrayal to the longing in my heart to see him again.
“I just want Levi to come so bad. If I could talk to him, I know I’d be able to peel back his shell. If you want me to cancel the whole thing, I totally will,” she says, assurance in her voice.
