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“Uhh, you girls go to Ole Tex?” he stammers, swallowing.
Kenna has finally regained control of her emotions and caught on, contributing to the cause. “Oh, yes, we are freshmen this year! Wow, this Texas heat sure is no joke. I can hardly stand to wear anything but a swimsuit most days.” She’s masked her obvious Southern accent, thankfully, by mimicking my Northern one pretty well.
His face is the color of the Stop sign she ran, and Kenna’s smile widens.
“We really are in such a hurry though. The girls needed us to run out and grab more…tampons.” She stutters a bit, and I hope she hasn’t ruined the entire charade.
If possible, his color deepens as he starts to back away from the vehicle. “Well, uh, I understand how pressing these…issues can be. You ladies have a nice day.” He nearly sprints back to his cruiser.
She starts to inch out of the space, barely breaking the twenty MPH on the speedometer.
“Tampons? Really?” I ask, starting to laugh.
She burst out in hysterics, her body shaking with laughter. “Oh my—oh, I will never forget the look on his face!”
We’re looking at each other and laughing, remembering his nervous jog back to his police car.
The laughter dies out, but she’s still driving like a granny and snickering.
“When in doubt, I always bring up tampons. Men can’t handle it. It’s like they want to pretend the female anatomy only has one purpose.”
She shakes her blonde head as we begin to pull into a narrow space. Ten minutes later, she’s finally managed to squeeze her giant car into a miniscule parallel parking sliver. The interior has most likely never heard such inappropriate speech from its owner’s mouth.
“Gahhhhh,” she screeches as we finally make our way toward The Yolk. “Parallel parking can suck my—Daddy!” she screams, deafening me.
A tall, handsome George Clooney look-alike approaches. An equally attractive golden-haired woman, who can’t possibly be old enough to have given birth to Kenna, smiles beside him.
“My sweetums! You look ravishing, as always,” her father greets her, bending down to press a kiss to her flushed cheek.
After a hug to her mother, they part, and a little boy who must be around eight or nine jumps into her arms.
“Kens! Kens!” he chants as they laugh, embracing.
I stand as still as a telephone pole, shifting my feet awkwardly as I observe their reunion. Awkward and envious, if I’m being honest. A lump has formed in my esophagus, and I wonder why I bothered to come.
“This is my roommate, Harley! She’s the best person I’ve met at OTU.”
They all turn to beam at me, her mother making the first move to reach out.
“My dear, you are something! What beautiful skin and hair! I always secretly wished I could be a dark-haired vixen.”
She approaches with a kind and approving smile, drawing me in for a hug—like mother, like daughter.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I croak as I attempt to combat the emotions welling in my chest.
Her father is smiling widely at us, arm draped around Kenna.
“We are so thrilled to meet you, Harley. You’ve been such a close friend to our Kenna.” He reaches out a large hand to grip mine.
“You’re hot,” her younger brother blurts out.
Kenna laughs out loud while his mother scolds him.
“Mom, Harley doesn’t care. Please let’s go in and eat! I’m famished.” She loops her arm through mine as we lead the group in.
This is my first family brunch. Ever.
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