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I realize that a guy has never asked me out to a dinner date before. They usually see me as the disposable, one-night kind of girl. That’s how I’ve always seen myself too.
“Can we finish the movie?” I bite my lip, nervous he’s going to leave.
He looks down at me, clearly at war with himself.
“I can get under the covers, and you lie on top,” I suggest, strangely fearful of being alone.
He nods, and I slide under the blanket as he lies down on the edge of the bed again. I press play on the movie. Twenty minutes later, he reaches his hand over, and I place mine inside it. The gentle contact of our fingers is the only thing I can focus on. A sigh escapes me, and my eyes drift closed.
16
Adam
Doubts begin to flood my mind around noon the next day. I woke up in utopia, Harley wrapped in my arms. Her sleeping face is angelic. She murmurs unintelligibly in her sleep.
Nothing about her resembles what I expected to find when I went to college. If anything, I never once worried about meeting a girl like her. Someone so gorgeous and worldly should have been a flashing red light, signaling danger and destruction. Instead, she called to me like a siren from a Greek fable, but my ears weren’t covered.
Am I making a mistake?
My phone begins to ring, and I see Dad flashing on the screen.
“Hey, Dad. How’s the crop growing?” I answer, trying to clear Harley’s face from my head.
“Hey, Adam. It’s flourishing this year. The Lord has really blessed us. How are you and Dan?” His kind voice is usually soothing in my ear, but for the first time, it makes me anxious.
He can’t read my mind, I remind myself.
“We’re good. All As, going to church. Dan’s in the shower, but he’ll be out soon.” I want to pass the phone off to my brother.
“That’s okay. I was just calling to tell you we’ll be coming down for Family Weekend this Saturday morning. We found a discount campsite for RVs to stay in Saturday night. We’ve been wanting to go to church with you boys.” My father is a millionaire, but he’ll never spend money on a hotel. All nine of my siblings will be laid out on pallets on the floor of the RV.
“All right, sounds good. Anywhere specific y’all wanna go?”
My throat is feeling tight as I debate whether or not I should tell him about Harley. Would she want to meet them? I want her to, but at the same time, I know what the reception would be like.
I feel like I might be sick.
“Well, son, I guess we just want to get an idea of what your new city life is like. Your mother is a worrier, so we are thankful the university has organized this weekend for us to come down and experience your college days. We know you’re making good choices.”
His last statement rings ominously in my ears. I know for a fact he wouldn’t be saying that if he knew where I slept last night.
“All right, well…see you Saturday. I’ll tell Dan.”
We say good-byes and hang up.
My younger brother walks out of the shower, wrapped in a towel.
“Was that Dad?” he asks, rummaging through his drawers.
“Yeah. They’ll be here Saturday for Family Weekend.” My attempt at sounding nonchalant is an epic failure.
“Ahhh, so that’s why you sound like you’re about to throw up.” His voice is what nonchalant should sound like.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I grit out, my voice threatening.
“Hey, did I say anything? You know where we should take them?” He flips around. “What’s that place with the delicious root beer?” He pretends to rack his brain.
He jumps back as I take a step toward him, murder in my veins, fists clenched.
