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“He says he only wants to be friends, but it’s like we both secretly want more. I can’t tell if he’s just nervous to admit it or if he’s fighting it because he thinks I’m…dirty or something.” I’m not usually one to open up, but I need to talk to someone about it.
She waves a hand like that thought is ridiculous. “Oh, he is definitely just nervous to admit it. He’s probably never even seen a girl as hot as you. He was raised out on a farm, totally isolated from the world. They didn’t even know girls like us existed. At least, I keep telling myself that’s why Levi doesn’t want anything to do with me.” She’s trying to comfort me and herself at the same time. A weak smile curves over her lips.
“Sorry about Levi, by the way. I know you liked him.” I feel like a bad friend. All we’ve talked about is my boy problems. The realization we are friends now hits me. When did that happen?
She shrugs, adjusting her glasses. She looks adorable even though she rolled out of bed roughly ten minutes ago.
“I asked Adam and Dan if he was gay last night. They seemed pretty certain he’s not, so…I guess that means he just doesn’t like me. I’ve invited them all to two parties, and he hasn’t come to either. Oh well.”
I can see the hurt on her face. She looks up and attempts another smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“He would be insane to not like you, and he probably is just into guys. You can’t help that you were born with a hoo-ha.”
I’m expecting a laugh, but instead, her face goes white as she looks behind me. She dips down, staring at her tray.
“Of course, the one day I look like a garbage can…” she mumbles.
“What is it?”
I turn around to see Levi, Dan, Silas, and Adam sitting down to eat a few tables behind us. Maybe he plans to text me after?
He’s still in his work clothes—a dirty gray T-shirt and worn jeans that hug him perfectly. We make eye contact, and I attempt a smile and a little wave. His face changes from longing to embarrassment, pink gathering in his cheeks before he quickly looks back down at his tray.
“What the hell? I’m about to go over there and—” Kenna starts to stand up, but I grab her hand.
“It’s fine. Please don’t. I’m just gonna go back to the dorm. Hey, look. It’s Riley. Can she sit here with you? I’m sorry. I need to—” My voice chokes a little as I stand to leave. I’m going to be sick.
Riley walks up with a salad and a Diet Coke, saving the day. She takes one look at my face, and hers creases with concern.
“Hey, what’s the matter? Are you sick?” She’s talking so loud that I want to slap her.
My head nods as I flee.
12
Adam
My heart sinks into my shoes as I watch Harley run from the cafeteria. I loathe myself. I’ve been trying to send her a cancellation text all morning, but I couldn’t think of how to phrase it without lying or sounding like a jerk.
How can she expect me to watch her let another guy feel her up right after I held her in my arms on the dance floor? My heart was racing with emotion until it crashed and burned. Why don’t I understand women at all?
“Let it go, man. You can’t help that she picked that bonehead.” Silas is trying to reassure me, and I realize Dan must have told them what happened.
“We’re just friends.” I shrug with indifference.
They all look at each other and back at me, obvious concern on their faces. Yeah, yeah, I’m delusional. I pick at my burger, my stomach rejecting the thought of food entering it.
A blonde head is weaving toward us. Looking up, I see Kenna marching up to the table, her teeth bared and a flush in her neck. She stabs a finger into my chest, leaning down toward me.
“You really are a prick, you know that? The only thing that’s worse than a guy like Kyle is one who pretends to be all nice and sweet before hurting someone who deserves better! You’re pathetic.” She leans back, huffing out a breath and surveying the table of gaping mouths and raised eyebrows.
She zeroes in on Levi for half a second, opening her mouth and then closing it. She shakes her head and stomps off.
No one moves for at least thirty seconds, the scolding having shaken us all.
“What did you do?” Silas finally mumbles.
They’re all waiting, and I don’t know what to say. Did she expect me to take her to the plant nursery still? Did I imagine the intimacy of the dance while she was truly only wanting a friendship?
