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I’ve only had sex once—a one-night stand last year that hadn’t been anything to write home about—but I got checked after. He doesn’t deserve to know that. He deserves crabs. I just hope he doesn’t have it yet.
Deciding not to take his word for it, I make a mental note to get checked for STDs now and in six months.
“I need a shower. Don’t be here when I come back.”
I’m exhausted, and I can’t take more of Jason Alden tonight.
Scratch tonight. I can’t take more of him for the rest of my life.
He lets me go—he’s gotten what he wanted from me.
I remain under the stream of water until it runs cold, and then I stay there anyway.
I hate that Jason knows just how to touch me. Better than anyone I’ve chosen to make out with in the past. Better thanme.
I’m exhausted and dreading another altercation, but when I come back, my room is empty.
I’m surprised to see that my bedding has been changed. The covers are drawn tight, as tidily as when my mother makes it for me.
I loathe that part of me is grateful for this small kindness. In light of everything, no amount of thoughtfulness on his part ought to be acknowledged. He’s a bastard, through and through.
As I fall asleep, dread coils inside me because I realize something.
He still has the leverage he held against me tonight. He could come back to my room every night and demand a repeat of today’s obscenity.
Now you belong to me.
I hadn’t believed him when he said it earlier.
Now I do.
That, more than anything, is terrifying.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I wake with one certainty in mind. I need to switch schools.
I can see no other option where I retain a semblance of sanity—and freedom.
Jason marked me in several ways last night. He made me taste shame, fear, and, yes, pleasure, too. But worst of all, he made me comprehend one thing I never quite understood until him.
Power.
I knew the likes of Brooke and Yuki set the tone in the school. I knew they have better cars, shoes, and clothes than me, and more friends. Their wealth makes them popular.
Power is something else altogether. It’s the ability to bring someone else to their knees and use them like a puppet.
Jason has power over me here in this school. If I go away, his power disappears. He won’t be able to use my credentials, clone my phone, threaten my future. I can start over in the city.
We’re still in September. Colleges may question my abrupt departure, but I can bullshit my way through an explanation. What I can’t do is remain a pariah to my peers by day, and become a whore under under Jason’s thumb all year. I don’t really like that word. It’s disrespectful to sex workers. I like porn as much as the next teenager, who am I to judge the actors entertaining me? But it’s appropriate for this situation. Jason used me like one.
I try to call my parents separately, then Uncle Lucius, trying to decide what I’ll say once one of them answers. A pointless endeavor; none of them do. I send individual texts to all three of them, asking them to call me back as soon as they can.
I contemplate staying in the dorm for the day, but I’m too restless. Besides, my small, comfortable single room doesn’t exactly feel like a safe haven anymore.
I skip breakfast, heading to school on autopilot.
“Hey, Nadia. I love your hair today,” some girl tells me when she passes in front of my seat in the bus.
