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“The one you wrote to me about six years ago.”
“No…no way. I threw that away.”
“I found it.”
“And you read it?”
“Quite possibly.”
“Oh God…this is so embarrassing.” I hide my eyes with both hands. “Please tell me you only remember the three-children part?”
“Dear Eli.” He speaks in a nonchalant voice. “You’re probably wondering why I’m writing you this letter, but I had to put these feelings on paper and hope they’ll somehow reach you. You see, I’ve had a major crush on you for years, but you always treated me like a kid who’s not worth your time. It kind of hurt, but I understand that you’re six years older than me, and it’s both weird and creepy for you to like or even notice someone way younger than you. So I bided my time and waited for this moment to tell you how much I like you.
“Actually, I think I’m a little in love with you. Whenever I see you, I get these butterflies and feel like I’m in the presence of a god, and I want nothing more than to worship and spin in your orbit for eternity. All you have to do is treat me like your goddess and I promise I’ll stand by your side forever.
“I might not be as mature and sophisticated as the women you’re familiar with, but I’m growing up and I’m way more fashionable and stylish, just saying. Your mum is also my godmother and we love each other so much, so we’ll be like the coolest mother and daughter-in-law. You’re welcome for thelack of conflict in the future and the fact that you’ll be marrying someone of your status.
“You might need to work hard to get Papa’s acceptance but I’ll help! He looks stern and all, but really, he can’t resist my puppy eyes. I’m not saying we should get married now, but maybe in three or four years after I finish uni.
“FYI, I want three children, preferably two girls and a boy. The girls’ names will be Sierra and Zoey. I’ll leave the boy’s name to you. I also want two dogs and three cats or three dogs and two cats. I’m open to negotiation as long as it’s within that ratio. You can take your time to fall in love with me from here on. I’ll wait for as long as it takes.
“P.S. I need to disclose something so you’re not blindsided. I’m sure you heard from Aunt Elsa or our mutual friends that I suffer from anxiety and depression, but in reality, it’s a bit worse than that and I might need a little monitoring. However, I swear I’m mostly self-sufficient, and I’m following this new therapy plan that I’m sure will work. You have nothing to worry about. The future love of your life you now know exists. Ava.”
Oh. My. God.
Can the earth open up and swallow me? Now would be great, thanks.
I peek at him through my fingers to find him staring at me as if he didn’t just recite my stupid letter word for word.
“Why the hell did you learn it by heart?” I ask, trying and failing not to sound strangled.
“I have a good memory.”
“You only did that to torment and embarrass me.”
“I wasn’t the one who wrote that.”
“Ugh. Let me die in shame.”
He laughs as he removes my hands from my face. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m fully aware I’m irresistible.”
“Get over yourself.” I prod his abs. “Besides, I was totally over you after that.”
“Which is why you proceeded to vie for my attention at uni?”
“Yeah, well, if I didn’t already have your attention, I wouldn’t have exploited it.”
“Is that so?”
“It’s true! You were everywhere.” I narrow my eyes. “You know, I always thought you wanted to torment me for having the audacity to like you or something, but now that I think about it, you’re not the type of person who wastes time on anything without a return on his investment. So why did I have your attention?”
“It started as mild interest. A mere thought about taking advantage of your weaknesses so I could use them against you down the line. Nothing personal. I do that to everyone. And believe me, I found a galore of faults, discrepancies, and dangerous nonchalance that I could crush you with if I chose to. You were chaotically impulsive and pathologically trusting. Two traits that would’ve led you to an early grave.”
“And what stopped you from pushing me to said grave?”
“Unlike what you liked to believe, I never hated you prior to or after your confession. No offense, but you held no importance to me. You were merely the kid Mum liked to dote on. I had no reason to develop any feelings for you. Though I do remember being inexplicably annoyed with your presence when we were children and might’ve tripped or pushed you down just because I could. That was possibly because I hated sharing my parents, and Mum cared about you too much for my liking. However, things changed as soon as you got into university.”
“In…what sense?” I ask, trying not to sound hurt that he never even thought about me before, but then again, it’s true that he never saw me any differently than Cecy and Glyn.
