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Talking when I was supposed to.
Smiling for the cameras.
Nodding when it was expected of me.
I was the epitome of Bailey Pierce-McGraw. From an outsider’s perspective, I had the world at my fingertips and everything I ever wanted. My life was perfect in every single way. Everyone expected something from me, and somewhere along the years, the line of who I truly was got blurred. My persona took over.
I missed my mom.
My dad.
The life I thought I wanted turned out to be abandoning me instead.
I held a constant fake-as-fuck smile, trying to concentrate on the scene we still had to film while sitting in my makeup chair. Instead of wondering whether I’d see Aires before our first lovemaking scene on camera and me going topless.
Not seeing Aires before the scene only added to my plaguing insecurities, and I worried that we’d remain professional and do what we were getting paid to. Part of me wanted to wring his neck, and the other wanted to thank him for taking the fall for me again. By saying we were together, he was making the world think I wasn’t a floozy.
But weren’t we?
Anxiety set in as the double doors closed behind me in the trailer and I made my way to the beach. For a second, I blankly stared at my reflection in the mirror, trying to find that girl.
My character.
Why did I feel like I was her?
With new thoughts of Aires beating the hell out of my mind, I walked out onto the beach. With one foot in front of the other, I found Aires and B. Night talking by the shoreline where we were about to shoot.
“There you are,” B. Night announced once he saw me.
Aires smiled, winking at me.
“So, let’s address the elephant in the room, so to speak, shall we?”
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea the press was going to?—”
B. Night lifted his hand, interrupting me. “There is no need to apologize. I don’t give a shit about what you decide to do with your personal life. I care about how it affects your work, and it hasn’t been an issue. If anything, like I said before, I think it’s worked to our benefit, and I continue to think it will.”
I nodded. “It won’t.”
“Great.” He clapped his hands. “Now for this scene, I want you to take all the anger and frustration you felt this morning with the press, and I want you to use it. I want you to capture it in this moment where all you want is to feel the skin of one another. I want passion. I want resentment. I want to see your souls pouring into each other like destiny has brought you back together because you belong that way.”
Aires and I locked eyes.
“I want Bailey’s body to shine in this scene, Aires. I need you to make sure you place your hands erotically down her body like you’re touching her for the first time, and this is what you’ve been dreaming of. Do you understand me?’
“Yes,” Aires agreed.
“Perfection.” B. Night smiled. “Just pretend the cameras aren’t here. It’s only us and the intimacy coordinator, so it’s a closed set. You’ll have as much privacy as we can.”
“Thank you.” I smiled.
B. Night grabbed our shoulders. “Let’s make magic.”
We both nodded, watching him turn to walk back to the camera.
Aires was first to break the silence. “Bay, I tried to tell you?—”
“I know.”
