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“Nothing.”
“Yeah, it looks it.”
“What do you want from me, man?”
“I want to know why you’ve been biting people’s heads off the last couple of shifts,” he says. “You’ve been a real asshole. So, what gives?”
“Like I said, nothing.”
“We both know that’s a load of horse shit.”
“Fine, let me try it this way, it’s none of your fucking business.”
Darnell’s chuckle is a low rumble. “That’s fine. You can snap at me all you want. I’ve known you long enough to not take it personally. But the other guys—especially the younger guys—don’t know you as well as I do and they will take it personally,” he says. “You’re obviously going through some shit, but unless you want to get a reputation as an asshole and maybe have Captain Ray come down on your ass for it, then you need to clear your head, bro.”
“They were fucking off and not doing their job,” I object. “If Cap wants to come down on me for getting them to do their goddamn jobs, so be it.”
“Come on, man. It’s not that you’re keeping them on task. It’s how you’re keeping them on task. Acting like an asshole and putting the fear of God into them is the wrong way. I know you know that, bro.”
I sigh and pull my helmet off then run my hand through my hair as I look at the scene around us. My guys are busy with the overhaul and are working like a well-tuned machine. As they always do. The performance of my team has always been above reproach, and I’ve never run my squad like a drill sergeant before. My team is loose. We do good work, but we have a good time. I’ve always believed in working hard but playing harder.
But I’ve been harder than usual on my guys lately. I’ve been walking around in a daze most of the time, brittle and angry the rest of it. Harlow breaking things off the way she did has hit me harder than I expected. It’s not the first relationship I’ve had that went to shit, but none of the others had this kind of impact on me.
Harlow walking away from me has left a ragged hole in my heart. It racked me with a pain I’ve never felt before. It’s the dark flip side of feeling as much as Harlow has made me feel for her.
“Come on, man. What’s going on with you?” Darnell presses.
I sigh and look around the site, searching for something to distract myself with. Darnell steps closer to me, refusing to let me get out of this without talking to him. He could be an annoyingly persistent little shit like that.
“It’s Harlow,” I finally admit. “She broke things off with me.”
“What? Seriously?”
I nod. “Yeah. A few days ago.”
“Shit, man. No wonder you’re wound up so tight.”
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
I take a deep breath and let it, looking around to make sure nobody else is within earshot. Nobody else is around, but I pitch my voice low anyway as I tell Darnell what happened—starting with Micah walking in on us to Harlow telling me she doesn’t want to be the wedge that comes between us.
“Shit, man,” Darnell says when I’m finished with my story. “Your life is like a real-life Jerry Springer episode.”
He laughs but I just glare at him and shake my head. “I knew I shouldn’t have said a fucking word about it?—”
“Bro, bro, relax. I’m screwin’ with you.”
“Yeah, maybe you missed it, but I’m not really in the fucking mood.”
“I’m sorry, man. I don’t mean to make light of the situation.”
“Kind of seems like you did.”
“Just trying to keep things light, my man.”
“Like I said, not in the mood,” I growl.
