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We get to the first restaurant, and I go in for the food. When we get to the house, Theo insists on being the one to deliver it. “We’re food-delivery partners. We have to do it together.”
I watch him go because Theo has a great ass and I just…I don’t know, want my eyes on him all the time. He draws me to him like a bee to honey.
“We got a cash tip!” Theo says excitedly when he gets back into the car.
He tries to give it to me, but I don’t take it. “You keep it. Since it’s my account, the money goes to me. The tip is yours.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like you don’t buy me meals and shit when we hang out.”
Which makes it like dates, in a way, but as long as I can excuse why I’m paying for it, I get to ignore that too. “I still want you to have it.”
“Fine. I’ll buy us some Sour Patch Kids and a soda to share.”
My chest gets a light feeling, and before I can think about the words, I say, “I knew you’d make me feel better.”
He cocks his head, as if my statement confuses him. That makes two of us, buddy. “What did I do?”
“I don’t know. Just being you. I’ll look for another order.” I grab my phone, but Theo puts his hand over the screen.
“What’s wrong, Perry?”
“Nothing.”
“You can talk to me. I talk to you, and…it’s what knights in shining armor do.”
I cock a brow. “Is it now? I thought we just save lives.”
“Nope. You talk and share with the person you saved. It’s a thing. You can look it up.”
I sigh, knowing I’m going to tell him because he seems to have that effect on me. I drop my head back against the seat and close my eyes so I don’t have to look at him. Looking at Theo does funny things to me, like if I hadn’t looked at him earlier, I probably wouldn’t be talking right now.
“My dad—Ty’s dad—called me. He hasn’t done that in a while, and it got me in my feels in a way I don’t understand.”
“I think it’s normal that it would make you feel things. It’s a complicated situation.”
I nod, fight to ignore the pull inside me, but lose and turn my head to face him. “He called me son…said he loves me…that he’s not going to stop trying to be a part of my life. What the fuck is that? He thinks he can just storm into my world now? When I’m an adult and I don’t need him? Where the fuck was he when I was eight and didn’t understand why I didn’t have a dad? Or when I was ten and they did a father-son breakfast at school? I don’t fucking need him now. I needed him then.” I slam my hands on the steering wheel, pissed at myself for losing control, for showing I do give a shit about him, for giving him this space in my head. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with my shit.”
“Yes. I should,” Theo replies softly. “You’re my friend. If I needed something, you’re the one I’d go to, and even if I didn’t, you’d find a way to be there for me. You always do. You’d find a way to make it better, to do your best to help. Why can’t I do the same for you?”
I shake my head because he’s giving me way too much credit. “I don’t do that much for you, and most of it comes with orgasms, so I’m not sure that counts.”
“But you’d do it without the orgasms. You want everyone to think you’re so cocky, so confident. You tell me I don’t see how great I am, but you don’t either. You don’t see how incredible you are, Perry. I’m sorry you didn’t have your dad. I hate that he made you feel bad about yourself. Because you’re…” Theo shrugs. “You’re the best. You’re there for Ty, not letting him know you’re hurting because you know it will hurt him. You make me smile even when I’m not with you. I just think about you, and I feel better. You help me with school and guys. I never feel stupid around you. I don’t doubt that I could tell you anything and that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me if I needed it.”
His words rip me open, make me feel raw and exposed, but somehow…somehow they stitch me together too, close torn seams, some I didn’t even know about. He’s filling me up in ways I didn’t know were possible. Like I wasn’t solid but now I am, or I’m becoming that way.
Because of Theo.
I know what he’s saying, can read between the lines. This is more to him. He knows I see it too because he looks down at his lap, refusing to meet my gaze.
“Puppy…”
“I didn’t mean to make this about me.”
“Theo…”
“I can still keep going the way we are, though. My feelings won’t get in the way of what this is. I know you don’t want a relationship, and that’s what I agreed to, but—”
“I like you too,” falls fluidly out of my mouth. I would have expected more of a stumble, but that’s not what happens.
