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Knight in Shining Armor: Are you studying?
I smirk because no, I’m not, and I wasn’t two days ago when he asked me either.
Knight in Shining Armor: What is the most vivid memory from your past?
Me: I don’t know.
Knight in Shining Armor: Come on, you have to know.
Me: But I don’t.
Knight in Shining Armor: Fine, but I’m going to ask you again one day, and I expect an answer.
Me: Deal. What’s yours?
Knight in Shining Armor: The day I found out who my dad is and that he’s known where I was my whole life.
My stomach had dropped when I’d seen that text. That was a real answer, and a sad one. I hadn’t expected Perry to be so honest with me, and I was still surprised by that.
I scan my response again.
Me: Do you want to tell me about it?
Knight in Shining Armor: I can’t. Gotta go to work. Don’t miss me too much.
Perry doesn’t like to talk about important things. I mean, he does when it comes to me because he asks questions like he had about vivid memories. No one has ever asked me stuff like that before, but any time something gets too close about himself, he shuts it down.
I…want his secrets. Want him to trust me with them, and I want to help him feel better, which is kinda fucked if you think about it. But talking to him so much through messages, I feel like I know Perry in ways I don’t know many people.
He’s the guy who will ask me if I’m studying because he knows I should be.
He’s the guy who didn’t make me feel like shit for not realizing he was flirting with me.
He’s the guy who talks about his brother like he hung the moon even though I think Ty also makes him feel a little unworthy. Not on purpose, of course, but inside Perry.
He’s nice.
And I’m obsessed.
“Why am I like this?” I say into the empty room, look at my books and continue to ignore them, then open a new search on my phone and type in: how do I know if I’m bisexual?
What a dumb question. How can I not know?
All sorts of shit pops up, quizzes and articles, half of them I get partway through and don’t finish reading because it all gets a little cluttered in my head.
So instead, I text Perry. Everything else can wait.
Me: Hi.
Knight in Shining Armor: Hi.
Me: What are you doing?
Knight in Shining Armor: Studying for my test next week.
Wait? Studying? Oooh, he’s saying that’s what I should be doing. I grin. The asshole. But the grin immediately turns into a groan because I so don’t wanna.
Me: I’m trying. I really am, but it’s like…
