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“Roxy, what happened? Are you okay?” She blurts the words so quickly, they melt together.
“Turns out he has a fiancée. Her name is Kim, and she’s gorgeous.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Where are you?”
“On the bus, heading home.”
“Meet you there in a few minutes. I’ll bring the booze.”
I slouch on the bench. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you’re not fine.”
“No, I’m not.” I’m struggling to hold back tears. “But you’re at work. It’s the middle of the afternoon.” My voice begins to waver.
“Zelda will understand. I’ll just say I have a personal emergency.”
“Okay,” I peep.
“See you in a bit.”
When I get home, all I want to do is slip into comfy pyjamas, grab a tub of ice cream, sink into my sofa, and sob. But Lina’s coming, so instead of ice cream, I grab two shot glasses and some crackers. Barely fifteen minutes later, she’s bursting through my door, hugging me tight.
“I’m so sorry, Roxy. He’s such a jerk. Let’s get drunk.” She shakes the bottle of tequila and steps into my flat.
“I’m so dumb,” I growl. I sit down next to her on the white sofa, cradling my head in my hand.
“Come on, that’s not true. Tell me what happened,” she urges, pouring us a pair of shots and giving me one. I drink it in one go. The liquid doesn’t even burn my throat. It’s useless, just like me. She fills my glass again. I down it in one gulp. Again.
“Misunderstanding, I guess,” I mumble, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “They met a few months ago, around the time when he started emailing and calling less often.” I’m such an idiot. “He didn’t say anything at first because he didn’t want to jinx it, but then, they became something more. He proposed, and—” I finish off another drink. “Since they were moving back so soon, he thought it’d be fun to keep it a secret. To surprise me.” Why? No bloody clue.
“But why ask you to find an apartment you liked?” she prods, sliding me another glass.
“Apparently, Kim and I are very much alike. We have the same taste in food, books, decór, and so on. So, he thought, ‘If Roxy likes it, so will Kim.’”
Except she’s everything I’m not. She has dark, straight hair while my are curly and deep honey blonde. She has dark-brown eyes while mine are light blue. She’s paper-thin while I still have curves I can’t get rid of. How could I have ever imagined a guy like Karl would fall for a girl like me? I was delusional. I drain my shot glass and bury my face in a pink cushion.
“I’m sorry, Roxy. Do you have a place to stay? You can come to my place if you want. I’m moving in with Jude at the end of the month. Then, you can have the whole apartment to yourself.”
“It’s fine. I can stay here.” I draw a weary sigh. “I texted my landlord. He hasn’t found anyone yet, so I renewed my lease.” I glance around my white and light pink living room, which brings me a hint of comfort. I get to keep my beloved flat. It took me three years to be able to afford a two-bedroom in Shepherd’s Bush, and months to find something decent, so that’s a bonus point. Yay for me.
“Okay,” Lina says, pouring us each another drink. Her brown eyes are filled with concern.
“You know”—I chuckle—“I can’t even be mad at him. He never actually said he wanted me to move in with him. He never even told me he liked me as more than a friend. It’s just, that night . . . that night changed everything for me.” I drink my shot of tequila. This time, she doesn’t fill it up again, her expression brimming with concern. “I thought it changed for him too. I thought we only didn’t talk about it because it was too difficult when we were away from one another. But now I know. He didn’t mention it because it meant nothing to him. It was just awkward, drunken sex with your BFF. The kind you never speak about again. The kind you . . .”
I lean my head back on the sofa and close my eyes. Memories of that night flash before me. Only instead of me, it’s Kim that Karl is kissing on my dining room table. It’s Kim’s ear he’s whispering sweet nothings into, making her giggle like a teenager. It’s Kim’s body he’s sending shivers to with his fingertips. Kim he’s standing with at the altar in front of both our families.
3
Dreams
Wade
“Sooo,” Andrew starts, a gleam in his blue eyes. “Someone’s been hiding things.”
I shake my head and gaze out the taxi window. “I wasn’t hiding anything.”
I wish getting into Heathrow wasn’t always such a nightmare. Otherwise, I would have taken my car to pick him up, which would have given me something else to focus on. Because right now, the only thing occupying my mind is that damn kiss. Her lips were so soft, so unsure as they brushed against mine. Her palms pressed my chest, sending an electric shock through my body. Her aquamarine eyes pierced right through my skull as we broke apart. Our kiss was short, but the feeling of her lips against mine is etched into my brain.
