Page 42 of Sick Little Devotion

He purses his lips and turns to the window, his face blank as he stares out into the darkening skies.

“Do you remember when I was a kid, and I wanted to go fishing with your dad?”

I have no idea where this is going. “Yeah, I do.” Barely. I could hardly remember my own father.

“He never got a chance to take me,” Aiden says in a near whisper. “And so when your mom married Will, I thought he would take me.”

“I don’t remember him ever taking you,” I admit, racking my brain. “I don’t remember him ever doing anything with you.”

“Because he didn’t.” Aiden turned to face me again. “But that didn’t stop stupid, naïve me from going out into the garage and asking him. Over and over. I wished I hadn’t now, but it finally caught his attention.”

I nodded, tears already brimming in my eyes. “And is that…”

“He got mad one night.” His face grew distant. “He didn’t use himself. He used whatever he had on hand.”

The breath is suddenly punched from my lungs, my stomach churning violently. “Oh my God, Aiden. I’m so sorry. I’m so—”

“No,” he stopped me. “No, I don’t need your sympathy. Just let me finish.”

I bobbed my head and swallowed the sob that was threatening to break free as I thought about my Aiden—the one that protected me so fiercely—being destroyed. And I never knew. He never said anything about it.

“Anyway,” Aiden clears his throat. “It only happened when he got angry with me. And the night I was kicked out was no different, only he used himself to do it. I always said I was saving myself for you—and I was—I did—but it happened. And maybe it’s better you know the truth of who you’re really with. I’m beyond damaged.”

Heavy, dark emotions wash over my body causing my hands to tremble. I reach out, my fingers brushing Aiden’s. “I’m so incredibly sorry, Aiden. I never knew.” My voice cracks on the last word, and I bat the tears away. “I never knew he was like that…”

“It was a power move,” Aiden says flatly. “It wasn’t as sexual as it was just proving the point that he was stronger than me—that he could control me. Just like when he gave me pills for the first time. He tried to pretend he was a good guy, but he was really trying to start an addiction. And he did.”

“It doesn’t matter why he did any of it,” I say, my voice still thick with heartbreaking emotion. “It was sick and evil.”

“It was, but taking care of you was much more important.”

I shake my head, guilt and pain and embarrassment thrumming through my chest.

All these years, all I did was blame Aiden for everything. I was so wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself that I never realized this man had been through the darkest corners of hell just to stay with me, to protect me.

“God, no wonder you left.”

“I still didn’t leave by my own choice. Ben Grenado really did kidnap me and force me to work off Will's debt. He should’ve killed me, but instead, he saw something in me that no one else did. And he helped me shape that into what I am now.” His body relaxed as he said the words, a slight uptick of his lips curling into a smile. “And because of him, I was able to rescue you.”

“Why didn’t you kill Will?” I blurt out the question.

“If I’d have killed them both, then it would’ve prompted a bigger investigation. You have to play the game carefully so as not to get caught.” The softness and vulnerability leaves his voice. “As much as I would’ve liked to have fucked him up, I’ll wait for another opportunity. I want him to squirm. I want him to know I’m coming.”

I shift uncomfortably at the darkness in his demeanor, but I suddenly understand him more than ever, and deep down, I want to make it right on his behalf. But I’m also pretty sure that I could never inflict damage on anyone. But… Would Will hurt the girls?

“I need to check on the girls,” I say quietly, looking up and meeting Aiden’s eyes. “I need to know they’re okay.”

Aiden’s jaw tenses and frustration flashes across his face. “I have eyes everywhere, including there. You need to stay here where I can keep you safe, Sara.”

I want to argue with him, but the heartbreaking truth I just learned is too much for me to do so now, and so I stay. As Aiden lingers there, I see glimpses of the old Aiden I once knew.

I finally get it. The Aiden that I knew was broken, and I had no idea. Heart pounding, I reach for his hand once more, my fingers brushing his.

“Every time you touch me, I nearly lose control,” Aiden grunts, sliding his fingers between mine. “You’re the only person that makes me feel anything good. Everyone else… It doesn’t matter if they live or die, but you, Sara, you’re always going to be everything good in this world.”

I tug at his hand, pulling him to me.

“You’re shaking,” Aiden murmurs as he leans over me, his free hand stroking my jaw. “Are you disgusted by me now?”