Page 29 of Sick Little Devotion

I came back for her. I had to kidnap her. Now I've made her mine. Yet, I won't let her kiss me. Darkness begins to consume me. She’s not the only one who lost their virginity tonight. Not to mention, she is barely fucking talking to me. She acts as if I’m the one who brought all the trauma on her and that she’s responsible for nothing.

She has no idea. Despite my intense love for her, she damaged me as well. The only difference is that I don’t hold it against her.

I just need to let her in completely.

“Back to prison,” Sara comments as if nothing happened, as I kick open the garage door. Her body is soaked, and there’s blood smeared between her thighs. I want to ask her if she’s hurting or if I was too rough for those few short minutes, but I stay quiet. It’s my turn to stop engaging.

I carry her up the stairs to our room. She doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get what I’ve gone through to have this place for her. Sara doesn’t know the hell I’ve lived in without her. I sit her on the edge of the bathtub as I reach across and turn the water on. Then slowly, I peel her soaked clothes from her body.

She doesn’t fight me, and it wouldn’t matter if she did. I would still do what I’m doing now. I strip her down and help her into the warm water. Her eyes avoid me, staring at the faucet rather than me.

“How did you know that’s the bubble bath I use?” Her voice comes out emotionless as she stares at the vanilla oatmeal scent that I pour under the stream of water. I decide to play her game.

I don’t answer.

“How did you know?” she repeats, this time her voice trembling. “How did you know what size of clothes I wear? Or is that just a coincidence?”

I tilt my head to meet her gaze. “Coincidence?”

“Yeah. Coincidence,” she mutters, sinking lower into the water. I keep my eyes on her face rather than her ample tits, bobbing just above the water. If I look at her body too long, I’ll be climbing into the tub with her. But that would be giving in right now, and I can’t do that.

“There are no coincidences where you are concerned,” I say flatly, still not really understanding why she is asking the question.

“So you didn’t have some other woman here? Then get tired of her and decide to come and get me?” Sara spits out the question with a fire I haven’t seen from her since before our years apart.

I crack a smile and shake my head. “No. No one but you.”

She eyes me after that and sinks down until her chin is skimming the bubbles. “Go away.”

I bristle at the words, my smile fading. This woman doesn’t know what’s good for her. First, she tries to run from me, then she wants to kiss me, and now she has the fucking audacity to tell me to get out. I once again fall silent… and am unmoved.

“Did you not hear me?” Sara snaps. “I said to go away. I just want to be alone right now.”

Chuckling, I shake my head and lean against the bathroom counter. I’d burn the world down for this woman if she asked for it, but she keeps asking for impossible things.

“I don’t know why you did this to me,” she continues, as if it’s her turn to guide the conversation. “I don’t understand why you broke my heart, kidnapped me, and then fucked me in the dirt.”

“You wanted it.”

Her cheeks flush a deep crimson hue, and she meets my gaze. “I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to. You’ve never had to speak for me to know what you’re thinking, Sara. Nothing has changed about that. It’s always been that way between you and me—and it always will be.”

She grows quiet, and my head fills with the flashback of the conversation that changed everything for me.

***

“You’re eighteen now,” Sara whispers under the covers, her back pressed against my chest. I am not allowed in the house anymore, but I still make my way through the window every night. Ron is permanently disabled, but there are still other monsters out there in the world—and better for me to be the monster in Sara’s bed than someone else.

“It’s just a fucking number,” I say softly, burying my face into her hair. I won’t admit it to her, but I know that my age makes things more complicated. She’s only sixteen, and me sleeping in her bed isn’t the same as it was before. I wish I’d have made her mine before this fucking day… When we were both under eighteen.

But life is complicated, and I don’t want to be some teenage fantasy. I want to be her end game. I’m not ready to be more than her nightly security guard. My finances are shit. I'm being chased for a debt that wasn't even mine, and they might fucking kill me for it. I can’t bring her into that.

Right now, she knows that I want her—I think—but the moment I sink into her, I have to be the kind of man that can support her. I can’t be that until I have some money to my name. Until I can support us both as I would like.

“Why aren’t you going to school anymore?” She trades one dicey subject for another. “You’re too smart to be playing the streets, Aiden.”

“I’m figuring shit out.” I don’t leave it open ended. “And it’ll be fine. When you graduate high school, I’ll be ready. I’ll take you away from here. I promise.”